Financial aid Appeal letter

[Ch23]

Hello everybody,

I am writing a letter to a college asking for more financial aid. I need some help with grammar and structure. I appreciate your help.


Financial Aid Appeal Committee,

I am really thankful for the generous award letter, but I still can not afford to attend <hide> University. On the award letter sent to me on June 22, 2007, it suggested that my parents should take a $9500 Federal Plus Loan. My parents have $480,000 mortgages that they are struggling to pay—they pay $2,710.53 for the first mortgage and $1,188.08 for the second mortgage (monthly). Yet, they make only $4200 from their jobs. They also need pay for utilities and foods—they are scrambling every dollar to pay these bills. Therefore, I can not see myself asking my parents to take another loan on my behalf. My family simply can not financially support my college education.

There is no doubt in my mind that I will succeed at <hide> University. My first semester grade point average is 3.3 at <hide> University and my second semester grade point average is 3.6 at University of <hide> . I was struggling at the first semester, but I corrected most of my academic weakness.

University of <hide> gives me full a scholarship. However, I decided to come back to <hide> University because MU has wonderful teachers, staffs, and learning environments. It is really tempting to go to that college for free but I am willing to take Subsidized Stafford Loan to go Marymount University.

I am convinced that with the help of this committee I will able to finish my college education—MU tuition assistance. I want to express my sincere appreciation for giving me the opportunity to explain my financial circumstances. I am looking forward to hear good new from you.

Sincerely

[Casiopea]

Welcome, Ch23.

To the Financial Aid Appeal Committee:

I am really thankful for the generous award letter, but I still cannot afford to attend <hide> University.

In the award letter sent to me on June 22, 2007, the Committee suggested that my parents take out a $9500 Federal Plus Loan. My parents have $480,000 in mortgages that they are struggling to pay—they pay $2,710.53 for the first mortgage and $1,188.08 for the second mortgage (monthly). Yet, they make only $4200 from their jobs. They also need to pay for utilities and food—they are scrambling every dollar to pay these bills. Therefore, I cannot see myself asking my parents to take another loan on my behalf. My family simply cannot financially support my college education.

There is no doubt in my mind that I will succeed at <hide> University. My first semester grade point average was 3.3, but my second semester grade point average was 3.6.

University of <hide> is offering me a full scholarship; however, MU has wonderful teachers, staff, and learning environments. It is really tempting to go to <hide> college for free but I am willing to take a Subsidized Stafford Loan to go Marymount University. I am convinced that with the help of this committee I will able to finish my college education with MU tuition assistance.

I want to express my sincere appreciation for giving me the opportunity to explain my financial circumstances. I am looking forward to hearing good new from you.

Sincerely,

[Ch23]

Casiopea, thank you so much.

[Ch23]

awesome! appreciate it.

[Casiopea]

You're most welcome, and good luck!

Please note, the last line should read:

I am looking forward to hearing good news from you.

[Barb_D]

PLUS is all capitals, by the way. Parent Loan for Undergraduate Students.

As a side note, most PLUS lenders allow your parents to postpone repayment for a certain number of years (while you are in school) and then you can assume the repayment obligation yourself when you graduate, or you parents might qualify for a hardship deferment which would also allow them to postpone payments until you could help out.