Letter inquiry need help

[qiqinuinaifen128]

Now i am preparing for my O lever Exam.
This is my exercise question.
Write a letter of inquiry on part-time work that enhance you people skills in you r personal capacity.
How do i write this inquiry letter.
Below is my inquiry, hope the teacher can check with me, and point out the error. Thanks you for reply.^_^

NG CHUN KAY
BLK154, #08-3118,
Ang Mo Kio Avenue 5,
Singapore 560154

1 August 2007

Manager of Nokia Service
Nokie Service Center
2 orchard Road
#08-08 Wisma Atria
Singapore 049178

Dear Sir / Madam

Inquiry of Sales Assistant Part-time Work

I am writing to inquire for the post of sale assistant, advertised in the Time Pager on 28th July 2007

I am currently a student who taken course of Electronic, Computer and Communication in Nangyang Polytechnic. For the last two years during weekend, I have been working part-time for Popular Bookshops as a sales assistant. The time I spent there improved my ability to deal with customers in a polite and friendly way as well as honing my negotiation skills and people skills. I am now seeking to further my experience in sales, and to expand my knowledge.

I would like to find out:
1. The job scope of this position
2. The time arrange for this position
3. The terms for payment
4. Opportunity to be the customer front line

I would greatly appreciate for giving all the information that listed at above. I can be reached anytime via my cell phone, 12345678. Thank you.

Yours sincerely



Ng Chun Kay

[Anglika]

Now i am preparing for my O lever Exam.
This is my exercise question.
Write a letter of inquiry on part-time work that enhance you people skills in you r personal capacity.
How do i write this inquiry letter.
Below is my inquiry, hope the teacher can check with me, and point out the error. Thanks you for reply.^_^

NG CHUN KAY
BLK154, #08-3118,
Ang Mo Kio Avenue 5,
Singapore 560154

1 August 2007

Manager of Nokia Service
Nokie Service Center [Nothing is more irritating to a company than to have the name of the company spelled wrong in this kind of letter!]
2 orchard Road
#08-08 Wisma Atria
Singapore 049178

Dear Sir / Madam

Inquiry of Sales Assistant Part-time Work You enquire about something.

I am writing to inquire for the post of sale assistant, advertised in the Time Pager on 28th July 2007

I am currently a student who taken [has taken = finished = past tense/ is taking = still doing the course = present tense] the course of Electronic, Computer and Communication in Nangyang Polytechnic. For the last two years during weekends, I have been working part-time for Popular Bookshops as a sales assistant. The time I spent there improved my ability to deal with customers in a polite and friendly way as well as honing my negotiation skills and people skills. I am now seeking to further my experience in sales, and to expand my knowledge.

I would like to find out:
1. The job scope of this position
2. The time arrange for this position Do you mean the hours of working?
3. The terms of payment
4. Opportunity to be the customer front line

I would greatly appreciate for giving [if you can give me ] all the information that listed at above. I can be reached any time via my cell phone, 12345678. Thank you.

Yours sincerely



Ng Chun Kay

..

[RonBee]

I think you have been a bit careless.

Now i am preparing for my O lever Exam.

I think that should be:

I am preparing for my O level exam.

What do you think?

This is my exercise question.
Write a letter of inquiry on part-time work that enhance you people skills in you r personal capacity.

Perhaps:

Write a letter of inquiry about a part-time job, and emphasize your people skills.

How do i write this inquiry letter.

How should I write the inquiry letter?

Below is my inquiry, hope the teacher can check with me, and point out the error.

I hope someone will point out the errors in the letter.

Thanks you for reply.^_^

Say:

Thank you for the reply.

Or:

Thanks.

~R

[qiqinuinaifen128]

This is all the information i want to ask the company...
who can help me to edit it for have a better formal farmat

1. The job scope of this position
2. The time arrange for this position.(i want to ask the working hour)
3. The terms of payment
4. Opportunity to be the customer front line

Thank you for the reply

[Anglika]

You do the writing; we will comment on it.

[qiqinuinaifen128]

Nuinaifen
Blk154, Ang Mo Kio Avenue 5,
#08-3118
Singapore 470142

1 August 2007

Human Resource Manager
Human Resource Department
Nokia Company
Address address address
Address address address
Singapore 123456

Dear Sir/Madam

Inquiry Regarding Part-Time job at Nokia Company

I am writing to inquire about the part-time position of sale assistance offered at your company, as advertised in Time Pager on 28th July 2007 on. The position offered will allow me to hone the people skills I have acquired during my course of study at Nanyang Polytechnic, Singapore.

I will be graduating from Nanyang Polytechnic Singapore with a Diploma in Electronic Computer and Communication. My Grade Point Average for last year was 3.99 and I have attained distinctions in 19 modules. I am eager to pursue a career in this field, in particular honing my people skills. I am a 21 years old male student.

In order to prepare for my entry into this career/line of work, I have some inquiries about the part-time position. I would appreciate the following information:
1. The job scope of this position
2. The time arrange for this position
3. The terms for payment
4. Opportunity to be the customer front line

I would appreciate it if you could provide me this information by mid August so that I may begin my preparations once my first semester examinations are completed.

I look forward to hearing from you and meeting you for an interview. If you have any questions, please contact me at EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead or at 98765432. Thank you.

Yours sincerely

Signature
Nuinaifen

hope to get immediate reply ...
tomorrow test already
Thank you for kindly reply

[Anglika]

Nuinaifen
Blk154, Ang Mo Kio Avenue 5,
#08-3118
Singapore 470142

1 August 2007

Human Resource Manager
Human Resource Department
Nokia Company
Address address address
Address address address
Singapore 123456

Dear Sir/Madam

Inquiry Regarding Part-Time job at Nokia Company

I am writing to inquire about the part-time position of Sales Assistant offered at your company, as advertised in Time Pager on 28th July 2007 on. The position offered will allow me to hone the people skills I have acquired during my course of study at Nanyang Polytechnic, Singapore.

I will be graduating from Nanyang Polytechnic Singapore with a Diploma in Electronic Computer and Communication. My Grade Point Average for last year was 3.99 and I have attained distinctions in 19 modules. I am eager to pursue a career in this field, in particular honing my people skills. I am a 21 years old male student.

In order to prepare for my entry into this career/line of work, I have some inquiries about the part-time position. I would appreciate the following information:
1. The job scope of this position What the job entails
2. The time arrange for this position The working hours ...
3. The terms of payment
4. Opportunity to be the customer front line Whether there will an opportunity...

I would appreciate it if you could provide me this information by mid August so that I may begin my preparations once my first semester examinations are completed.

I look forward to hearing from you and meeting you for an interview. If you have any questions, please contact me at EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead or at 98765432. Thank you.

Yours sincerely

Signature
Nuinaifen

hope to get immediate reply ...
tomorrow test already
Thank you for kindly reply

..

[RonBee]

The phrase "terms of payment" souns like something from a loan contract to me. I would ask about salary or ask, "What does the position pay?"

~R