letter

[jackinside]

can you correct my letter please?



Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to you to apply for the Master’s Degree in Biotechnology in which I am particularly interested.

I hold a 4 year BS degree in the fileds of Bioengineering, the first Bioengineering Deparment in Turkey, from – University.

My aim is to work in an international field related to Industrial Biotechnlogy and Bioprocess Engineering. Therefore I would like to gain a deeper theoretical and practical knowledge in fields of Control Systems in Fermentation and Bioprocess. I believe a university with a high reputation like --- is the best place to achieve my career objectives.

My Professional background is compromised of three years of technical and managerial experience. I have two years of relevant accomplishments in the Pharmaceutical Industry within operations, engineering and manufacturing.
I have worked in --- Marketing Company,(-----) for 15 months. I worked in Technical Service Department as Bioprocess Engineer.

I have been still working ---- Production Marketing Company (Turkey) since January 2008.

The following outlines pertinent aspects of my career;

Substantial background in product and process development.
Significant experience and accomplishments in Water purification systems (Distillation, Deiyonization, Reverse Osmosis).
Significant experience in Cold/Hot water systems (+37 C and +4 C systems).
Significant experience in Steam and air systems (Sterile steam and air).
Significant experience in Freeze Drying.
Significant experience Extraction, Evaporation,and Purification (Chromotography Technics)



In conclusion I would like to say that I like to take responsibility and to work as part of a team. I am eager to gain new experiences and in my opinion this program is the best way to achieve that.

Thank you very much for your time and consideration, I will look forward for your response.

Best regards.

_____________

[Identifying personal details deleted - Moderator]

[susiedqq]

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to apply for the Master’s Degree Program in Biotechnology, which I am particularly interested.

I hold a 4-year BS degree in Bioengineering, graduating from the first Bioengineering Department in Turkey, from – University.

My aim is to work in the international field related to Industrial Biotechnlogy and Bioprocess Engineering. Therefore I would like to gain a deeper theoretical and practical knowledge in the fields of Control Systems in Fermentation and Bioprocess. I believe a university with a high reputation such as --- is the best place to work towards achieving my career objective.

My professional background consists of three years of technical and managerial experience. I have two years of relevant accomplishments in the Pharmaceutical Industry within operations, engineering and manufacturing. I have worked at --- Marketing Company, (-----) for 15 months. I worked in Technical Service Department as Bioprocess Engineer.

I am currently employed at ---- Production Marketing Company (Turkey) since January 2008.

The following outlines pertinent aspects of my career:

Substantial background in product and process development.
Significant experience and accomplishments in Water purification systems (Distillation, Deiyonization, Reverse Osmosis).
Significant experience in Cold/Hot water systems (+37 C and +4 C systems).
Significant experience in Steam and Air Systems (Sterile steam and air).
Significant experience in Freeze Drying.
Significant experience Extraction, Evaporation,and Purification (Chromotography Techniques)


In conclusion, I would like to say that I am able to accept responsibility and to work as part of a team. I am eager to gain new experiences and feel that this program is the best way to achieve that.

Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

I look forward to your response.

Best regards,

[Anglika]

Originally Posted by susiedqq

I am writing to apply for the Master’s Degree Program in Biotechnology, which I am particularly interested. [this is now an inconclusive sentence. Did you mean to delete "in"?]

.

[susiedqq]

Oops - Anyway, I'd change it to:

,in which I have particular interest.