letter for application

[jackinside]

can anyone correct it please?


Dear Professor;

I want to thank you for your consideration at the beginning.
You have said you have visitors from Ege University and i talked with two of them S.... and C..... They narrated to me their nice observation about D.... and A..... I would be happy to study with you but i have some issue to share with you.

First of all, i am not a student at the moment so i have no relation with any university. That is; i can not join E.... Exchange program.

Another issue is that; i have no certificate that show my proficiency in English for normal application procedures. Can you do something about it? If it is necessary i will try to get it.

Also i can not study abroad without scholarships. i need a financial support to cover tuition and living expenses.

Finally i am looking for a long time study program. i want to continue to study after finish the Msc program..

Thank you very much for your attention to all these matters and for your consideration of my application.
Best regards...

[RonBee]

Try:

I want to thank you for your consideration.
You told me about your visitors from Ege University, and I talked to/with two of them--S and E.
They told me their nice observations about D-- and A--.
I would be happy to study with you, but there are some problems.
First of all, I am not a student at the moment, so I have no relation with any university.
I have no certificate to show my proficiency in English.
Also, I can not study abroad without a scholarship. I need financial support to cover tuition and living expenses.
I want to continue to study after I finish the Msc program.