#1  
Old 12-Jun-2008, 13:25
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 14
Member Type: Student or Learner
Default Can you please check my letter?

Dear Mr S

Your order for 1,000 mobile phones

We regret to note that you appear to have ignored our letter of 3 May just as you ignored our previous reminder.

If you are unable to pay at least give us your reason for non-payment.

We will let you have 10 days for payment, after which time we will have to charge interest on the outstanding amount of € 16,670.

Failure to settle the final instalment by that date will mean that we will have to deal with your company on a "cash with order basis" and demand you to return on third of the mobile phones for which you have not paid yet.

We trust we will be receiving your remittance in the very near future.

Yours sincerely
  #2  
Old 14-Jun-2008, 17:48
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 557
Member Type: English Teacher
Default Re: Can you please check my letter?

An excellent piece of writing - quite tough but necessary in the circumstances. Some minor suggestions - mainly for style

Dear Mr S

Your order for 1,000 mobile phones

We regret to note that you appear to have ignored our letter of 3 May just as you ignored our previous reminder.

If you are unable to pay, at least give us your reason for non-payment.

We will allow you a further 10 days to make payment, after which time we will have to charge interest on the outstanding amount of € 16,670.

Failure to settle the final installment by that date will mean that we will be forced to deal with your company on a "cash with order basis" in future and also demand that you return the 333 (it's better to state the exact number) mobile phones for which you have not yet paid.

We trust we will be receiving your remittance within the stipulated period.

Yours sincerely
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