[Essay] Letter to Paper Editor

[thedaffodils]

Hi!

Could someone please proofread, or comment on my letter at your convenience? I’d like to learn how to make it more effective and impressive. What do you think if you are the editor? What words/points sound harsh or weak to you? What words sound lengthy or unnecessary? Is the stucture consistent?

Please kindly keep open to me, and point them out. Thanks in advance!

************************************************** *
Letter Requirement:

You recentely read an article in your local newspaper criticizing a restaurant you go to frequently and consider good value for money. The article stated that the service was slow, the decor was in bad taste and the food mediocre.
You feel the article is unfair.
Write a letter to the editor with your views.

************************************************** ***

Dear Mr. Sir or Madame,

I read an article titled ABC dated Sept. 7 in your paper --BBB, criticising a restaurant-AAA, by Mr. James Smith.

In his article, Mr. James Smith acrimoniously slammed AAA, such as slow service, lousy decor and mediocre food. I think his report largely has lost objectivity and fidelity, which is due as journalism requires.

I am a frequent customer to the restaurant. My friends, my family and I have spent a lot of good time on dining there. Honestly, We all are very pleased with the good service; waiters always wear smile and are very polite. Every dish is exquisite and palatable. Sometimes, it might keep us waiting for a short while during rush hour if without booking, but we couldn't just simply complain that the service is slow. I am wondering if the restaurant would be really as bad as the report described, what pull so many customers there everyday?

Mr. James Smith's taste can't exactly stand for the opinions of most of us customers. We feel upset after reading the article, and wouldn’t like to see it might misguide other readers. I hope your paper –BBB could keep being objective, fair as it was. Thanks for your reading.

Best regards,

Yours faithfully,

(Signature)


Jane Simpson


PS: The letter not for my assignment or paper. I read a thread about it started by an unregistered member. I am interested in taking a try by myself.

Here's the URL link about the original thread.

http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/as...15-editor.html

[Raymott]

Originally Posted by thedaffodils

Dear Mr. Sir or Madame, (Sir is Mr; Madame is French)

I read an article titled ABC dated Sept. 7 in your paper --BBB, by Mr. James Smith, criticising a restaurant-AAA,

In his article, Mr. James Smith acrimoniously slammed AAA, complaining of such faults as slow service, lousy decor and mediocre food. I think his report largely has lost lacked objectivity and fidelity honesty, which is due as good journalism requires.

I am a frequent customer to the restaurant. My friends, my family and I have spent a lot of good times on dining there. Honestly, we all are very pleased with the good service; the waiters always wear a smile and are very polite. Every dish is exquisite and palatable. Sometimes, its they might keep us waiting for a short while during rush hour if we don't book without booking, but we just simply couldn't complain that the service is slow. I am wondering if the restaurant is would really be as bad as the report described, what pull how do they get so many customers there everyday?

Mr. James Smith's taste can't exactly stand for the opinions of most of us customers. We feel upset after reading this article, and wouldn’t like to see it might misguide other readers. I hope your paper –BBB could keep being remain objective, fair as it was usually is. Thank you for your reading. considering my opinion.

Best regards, (not in a letter like this)

Yours faithfully,

(Signature)


Jane Simpson

Suggest delete underlined words; add green words.

[thedaffodils]

Thanks a million for your corrections. You're great, Raymott.

[Anglika]

Originally Posted by thedaffodils

Hi!

Could someone please proofread, or comment on my letter at your convenience? I’d like to learn how to make it more effective and impressive. What do you think if you are the editor? What words/points sound harsh or weak to you? What words sound lengthy or unnecessary? Is the stucture consistent?

Please kindly keep open to me, and point them out. Thanks in advance!

************************************************** *
Letter Requirement:

You recently read an article in your local newspaper criticizing a restaurant you go to frequently and consider good value for money. The article stated that the service was slow, the decor was in bad taste and the food mediocre.
You feel the article is unfair.
Write a letter to the editor with your views.

************************************************** ***

Dear Mr. Sir or Madame, Editors are addressed as Dear Sir, unless you know the editor is a woman, in which case Dear Madam. The problem can be neatly avoided by the use of Dear Editor, which is perfectly acceptable.

I read the article titled ABC by Mr. James Smith, dated Sept. 7 in your paper --BBB, criticising discussing a restaurant-AAA. I think his report largely has lost objectivity and can be regarded as biased.

In his article, Mr. James Smith acrimoniously slammed AAA such as for slow service, lousy decor and mediocre food.

I am a frequent customer of the restaurant. My friends, my family and I have spent a lot of good time on dining there. often dined there happily. Honestly, We all are we were all very pleased with the good service; the waiters were always wear smile smiling and very polite. Every dish is exquisite and palatable. Sometimes, it might keep us we might be kept waiting for a short while if we went during rushhour without booking, but we couldn't just simply complain that the service is slow can't complain about the service in general. I am wondering wonder what draws so many customers to it if the restaurant would is be really as bad as the report described.

Mr. James Smith's opinion can't exactly stand for the opinions of most of us customers. We feel upset after reading the article, and wouldn’t like to see it might misguide other readers your readers to be misinformed as a result of reading it. I hope your paper –BBB could keep being objective, fair as it was. Thanks for your reading. omit
Best regards,

Yours faithfully,

(Signature)


Jane Simpson


PS: The letter not for my assignment or paper. I read a thread about it started by an unregistered member. I am interested in taking a try by myself.

Here's the URL link about the original thread.

http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/as...15-editor.html

Writing a letter to a paper is a subtle thing. You want it published, so it is essential that it says what you think without being too obviously critical of the paper, the journalist or the editor.

[Raymott]

Originally Posted by Anglika

Writing a letter to a paper is a subtle thing. You want it published, so it is essential that it says what you think without being too obviously critical of the paper, the journalist or the editor.

Ah, well if she wants it published, that's a slightly different matter. I thought the exercise was just to write a letter that expressed how she felt.

[thedaffodils]

Originally Posted by Anglika

Writing a letter to a paper is a subtle thing. You want it published, so it is essential that it says what you think without being too obviously critical of the paper, the journalist or the editor.

Hi Anglika,

I deeply appreciate your comment and corrections. I'll bear these in my mind.

[Anglika]

Originally Posted by Raymott

Ah, well if she wants it published, that's a slightly different matter. I thought the exercise was just to write a letter that expressed how she felt.

But if you write to an Editor about an article, do you not hope it will be published?