Letter requesting to transfer cash

Please correct this letter

Dear Sir

SUB: Request to transfer cash

I would like to transfer an amount of Rs.1000 from my account (Account No: xxxxxx) to X's account whose account no is yyy. She has an account in the Z branch of the same bank. I request you to take immediate action in this regard.

Yours faithfully,
Muktha Naive.

Dear Sir: (add a colon)

Re: Request to transfer funds (cash is literal; it will be an electronic transfer, no cash involved)

I would like to transfer an amount of Rs.1000 from my account (Account No: xxxxxx) to the account of X, whose account no is yyy. She has an account in the Z branch of [name of bank].
[paragraph break]
Please transfer these funds immediately and confirm by return when complete.


Yours truly,
Muktha Naive.

Point of style.

British usage is a comma following salutation: Dear xxxx, and the ending would be Yours faithfully

I'll grant you the comma, but personally, I like to keep faith out of discussions with banks.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jlinger

I'll grant you the comma, but personally, I like to keep faith out of discussions with banks.

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I am faithful to my bank, so long as it keeps faith with me.8-)