Motivation letter for a training period

[SWTAlucard]

Hi everyone !
I need someone to check my letter and help me correct the mistakes i've made. Thank you.

Dear Madam, Dear Sir,


I am presently a student in biotechnology “health and medical engineering” at University of Grenoble. For my Master 1 diploma (French equivalent to an Msc), a work experience of at least 11 weeks (starting from April with a possibility to continue until July) is required. I am addressing you this letter because I would like to have the opportunity to do some training in your firm.

In fact, your firm, based on diagnostic and therapeutic, concerns fields I have always been interested in. I am actually studying biochemistry and biotechnology and plan to do the Master 2 “in vitro diagnostic” at Grenoble University next year. Working in your firm would be a great experience for me, by giving me the opportunity to work in a field I like. Plus, I intend to live and work in a foreign country later, and a training period in England would not only enable me to improve my English, but also bring me an international experience by giving me the opportunity to gain a better knowledge of the English Culture.

My untypical education has brought me a larger view of the biotechnology industry and its application fields. Moreover, the different training periods I have already done enabled me to have a concrete experience of the scientific work – I actually learned to manage a research project, to hold a laboratory diary and to use specific machinery. Furthermore, my seriousness, my flexibility and my ability to work in a group are assets that I think can be useful in a research team.

I look forward to hearing from you soon. Should you require further information do not hesitate to e-mail me.

Faithfully,

[SWTAlucard]

Can someone help me please ?

[SWTAlucard]

Thank you very much for your help ! I see now how I should improve my letter.

In the rest of your letter, try to emphasize early on your accomplishments (be specific) and why you would be a valuable addition to the firm, instead of focusing on what working at the firm could do for you.

Does this mean I should invert my second and third paragraph ? I mean should I first explain why I could be a valuable asset and then explain the reasons I'd like to work at this firm, or should I just be shorter with the second paragraph and a bit longer with the third one ?