Letter of complaint

[Kitteeh]

I would be extremely grateful if you could check this text and correct all the mistakes (I'm sure there are plenty of them...).

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to complain about a holiday you arranged for me. Unfortunately it was nothing like what I expected.
To begin with, our bus reached the destination three hours later than planned. I must mention that a bus driver seemed to be really unqualified and his uncautious driving caused two small accidents. So, traveling by bus was very stressful. When we had finally arrived to the hotel, I was slightly shocked - that hotel was completely different than the one described in your brochure. To make matters worse, there were no any single rooms left, so I had to share a twin room with other tourist for two days. I was surprised when I found out, that hotel's breakfast was not included into the holiday price - in your brochure you state otherwise.
I believe I am entitled to a partial refund. I would be grateful if you would deal with this matter as soon as possible.
I look forward to hearing from you. Thanking you in advance.

Your faithfully,
Name Surname.

[thod00]

Most companies do not want to spend time, effort and money arguing in court. They prefer to spend their time making money by running a business. You are offering them a choice, either pay a small sum in refund or go to court and argue about it. The purpose of your letter is to make that clear. The letter is your attempt to settle the matter between yourselves first. If they believe you will do nothing further, they can throw it away and ignore you. After all, they have your money and don't want to give it back.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to complain about a holiday you arranged for me.

Supply more details. They need to find it in their files.

Unfortunately it was nothing like what I expected.
To begin with, our bus reached the destination three hours later than planned. I must mention that a bus driver seemed to be really unqualified and his uncautious driving caused two small accidents. So, traveling by bus was very stressful.

Did they promise any quality? I think your argument here is based on them having a 'duty of care'. You believe that they have a responsibility to ensure that the products they sell, in this case holidays, are safe and 'fit for purpose'. The reason they charge their fee is that they purport to have checked out these details. Since they have not, they misrepresented themselves and defrauded you.

You need to make clear what you think they have done that is wrong. Your story provides the facts of the case, it doesn't say why this wrongdoing or why they are responsible.

When we had finally arrived to the hotel, I was slightly shocked - that hotel was completely different than the one described in your brochure. To make matters worse, there were no any single rooms left, so I had to share a twin room with other tourist for two days.

They contracted to supply you with a single room. They have not delivered and are thus in breech. You didn't have to share a room. You could have taken a double room, or an entire suit if thats all that was available and claimed the additional costs from them. They are responsible for the breech and thus they must make good the costs of remedying it.

Because you chose to share, they will argue that you were offered a substitute and accepted it. You will only be able to argue your case on the grounds that that was all that was available, it was that or nothing. You would then have a strong case for a partial refund.

I was surprised when I found out, that hotel's breakfast was not included into the holiday price - in your brochure you state otherwise.

Once again, a clear misrepresentation. You can reclaim the costs of all the breakfasts. The costs of the breakfasts were part of the contract. You paid for the breakfasts yourself to make good the contract, now they must refund you.

I believe I am entitled to a partial refund. I would be grateful if you would deal with this matter as soon as possible.
I look forward to hearing from you. Thanking you in advance

You should say how much money you will accept in settlement. They will offer less, so ask for more.

You certainly shouldn't be 'grateful', you are in dispute with them. You are threatening them, you need to be forceful. You have to make it clear that if they dont respond, you will take matters further.

[alibeth]

Originally Posted by Kitteeh

I would be extremely grateful if you could check this text and correct all the mistakes (I'm sure there are plenty of them...).

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to complain about a holiday you arranged for me. Unfortunately it was nothing like what I expected.
To begin with, our bus reached the destination three hours later than planned. I must mention that a bus driver seemed to be really unqualified and his uncautious driving caused two small accidents. So, traveling by bus was very stressful. When we had finally arrived to the hotel, I was slightly shocked - that hotel was completely different than the one described in your brochure. To make matters worse, there were no any single rooms left, so I had to share a twin room with other tourist for two days. I was surprised when I found out, that hotel's breakfast was not included into the holiday price - in your brochure you state otherwise.
I believe I am entitled to a partial refund. I would be grateful if you would deal with this matter as soon as possible.
I look forward to hearing from you. Thanking you in advance.

Your faithfully,
Name Surname.

The main structure and content is correct, so don't put yourself down when there is no need .

There are just a few words that I would change and sentence ordering etc. For example, you say

"I must mention that a bus driver seemed to be really unqualified and his uncautious driving caused two small accidents."

it would be more coherrent to say, "I must add that the bus driver's reckless driving gave me cause for concern for my well being and safety, as his driving left much to be desired and I question whether he was qualified enough to drive on the roads at all, it is not suprising then, when I relay how he caused two minor road accidents." the rest of the article seems ok.

[Kitteeh]

Thankee.


thod00,

Thank you so much.
But it's not a real complaint, it's just an attempt to write a letter of complaint for my exams. So it just need to be grammatically and structurally correct. I'm sorry I failed to mention that in my previous post and you wasted your time.

"When we had finally arrived to the hotel, I was slightly shocked " is this really correct?? Would it be ok to use past simple there?

[Searching for language]

Originally Posted by Kitteeh

Thankee.


thod00,

Thank you so much.
But it's not a real complaint, it's just an attempt to write a letter of complaint for my exams. So it just need to be grammatically and structurally correct. I'm sorry I failed to mention that in my previous post and you wasted your time.

"When we finally arrived at the hotel, I was slightly shocked " is this really correct?? Would it be ok to use past simple there?

I would leave out the slightly.