Correction, Any suggestion, Please!

[Raid050]

Dear Dr. .......,
Program Director


The Office of Academic Assistance informed me that my application has been sent to you for review.

Please let me know as soon as possible and email me a copy of the acceptance letter, if I am admitted!

Because I want to start the scholarship and student visa process

Sincerely,

My Name

[abdmlkbd]

Assalamualaiykum!
could you first please inform whether this is a formal/informal letter?

[David L.]

Oh, it's formal alright. Whether you email or write to an academic institution, it's formal!

DON'T SEND IT.

You're communication needs some restraint!

Someone will help you to rephrase it so that your eager enthusiasm is more contained.

[Raid050]

Assalamualaiykum!
could you first please inform whether this is a formal/informal letter?

Walekom Alsalam wa rahmat allah

Brother, I want it to be a formal one , by the way I'll email it to the person who will make the admission decision.

[Raid050]

Oh, it's formal alright. Whether you email or write to an academic institution, it's formal!

DON'T SEND IT.

You're communication needs some restraint!

Someone will help you to rephrase it so that your eager enthusiasm is more contained.

Thank You Mr. David for your reply

Could you please help me in that and repharse it for me!

[abdmlkbd]

Dear brother Assalamu'Alaikum! I tried roughly to rephrase your letter. I hope it'll help you....inshallah.
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Dear Sir/Madam,

This is to inform you that I have submitted the necessary documents at the Office of Academic Assistance to get admission in your esteemed institution.

I look forward eagerly for the acceptance letter so that I may able to start the scholarship and visa processing. I would be highly obliged if you please confirm my admission and send me the acceptance letter to my email as your earliest convenience.

......................

[Raid050]

Dear brother Assalamu'Alaikum! I tried roughly to rephrase your letter. I hope it'll help you....inshallah.
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Dear Sir/Madam,

This is to inform you that I have submitted the necessary documents at the Office of Academic Assistance to get admission in your esteemed institution.

I look forward eagerly for the acceptance letter so that I may able to start the scholarship and visa processing. I would be highly obliged if you please confirm my admission and send me the acceptance letter to my email as your earliest convenience.

......................

Brother, Jazak Allah Kair

I really appreciate it