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  #1  
Old 25-May-2009, 17:18
Dislexyg
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Default Could you help me with a formal letter?

Hello
Im from Czech Republic and Im seeking a job in the U.S. (I guess it will be almost impossible for me but still I want to try it..) and I´d REALLY appreciate any help with improving the form of my emails.. Emails are my first step - I have to find an employer. Yes - now, during recession. But you know... a dream may come true... I have to try it, at least..

I thought that first, I could send an email to as many companies from my field of qualification as possible. An email just to find out if there is at least SOME chance for me to be employed and sponsored for visa by them..
But I dont exactly know american customs as well - maybe it would be better to send a CV right away. I´d like to know your opinion about this too.. (well, about pretty much everything you can tell me.. ; ))

I can use english almost fluently (with some minor mistakes) but formal letter seems to be a ne plus ultra for me..

So please tell me everything Im doing wrong (everything concerning english, unfitting expressions, emailing attitude, naivity - everything : )) You would help me really tremendously..

First, I was going to write something like this :

-----------------------------------------------------------
??Dear ....?? (**Im not even sure about the opening phrase..**)
I would like to ask you about your company´s policy towards hiring qualified foreign workers.
My name is Lukas Jelenny, Im from Czech Republic, 22 years old.
After finishing high school (IT - network managing, webmastering, programming, 2D/3D graphics, etc.), I started working as CNC programmer for local company AH Hydraulics. Recently, because of the financial crisis, I´ve got fired (**/dismissed/off the payroll ??**). Unforunately, the whole company seems to be on the edge of bankruptcy.
I hope this is not your case, and with almost 4-year experience in CNC programming, Im sure I would be able to fulfill similar position´s duties without any major problems.
I wouldn´t hestitate to accept any other kind of employment in your company, but from what I´ve learned, qualified occupation is necessary to H-class visa application..
Is there any chance I could apply for a job falling within my qualification field?
Im learning new things all my life, and Im still eager to learn more. Even if I dont have university education, during those years as CNC programmer, I have gathered so many experience in this field that few universities could teach me.. And although I didnt continue to use everything else I learned in high school at the workplace, I still use most of in my personal life from time to time, so I guess with some exaggeration, I could call myself an "IT specialist" as well.
If you´re interested, I will send you my CV with every other details you´d like to know.
Im not sure how complicated is the proccess of visa sponsorship, but I´d do my absolute best to make it worth the troubles for you. For me, it would be a dream come true so you can be sure that my primal goal would be making my employer satisfied with my work at 110%

Thanks for your reply

Best regards, Lukas Jelenny
-----------------------------------------------------------


Is it horrible? I beg you - if you can help me with ANYTHING... Mistakes in the letter and even outside of it - if it´s at strenght of a human to point everything out, I would be really grateful.
I know I make quite a lot of errors but these mistakes seem to fade out in regular conversation and of course I would work on my english further VERY intensively if I´d really got some company consider employing me..

Thanks in advance...

... a LOT..!!
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  #2  
Old 26-May-2009, 11:39
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Default Re: Could you help me with a formal letter?

Well... I guess Im asking too much.. : /

What about some general tips then?
Pleasepleaseplease...
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  #3  
Old 27-May-2009, 08:46
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Default Re: Could you help me with a formal letter?

Am I breaking the rules or something?
I thought this is the place to get help with things like this..
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  #4  
Old 27-May-2009, 09:57
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Default Re: Could you help me with a formal letter?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dislexyg View Post
e-mails are essentially informal, so I would avoid using them save as a quick means of establishing facts: check the contact details on the company website [if there is one] and use that: "I am interested in applying to your company for a programming position. Please let me have the name and position of the person to contact."

Once you have a name, use it and write a proper snail-mail letter. It has more gravitas.

??Dear Mr or Dear Ms XXXXXXX,

I would like to ask you about your company´s policy towards hiring qualified foreign workers.
My name is Lukas Jelenny. I am 22 years old and from the Czech Republic.
After finishing high school (IT - network managing, webmastering, programming, 2D/3D graphics, etc.), I started working as CNC programmer for a local company AH Hydraulics. Recently, because of the financial crisis, I´ve got fired (**/dismissed/off the payroll ??**). Unforunately, the whole company seems to be on the edge of bankruptcy.
I hope this is not your case, and
and have been with them for nearly four years. Unfortunately the current economic crisis has hit the company and I am about to lose my position. With my experience in CNC programming, I am sure I would be able to fulfill a similar position´s duties without any major problems. Do you have any such position available or about to become available? However, I wouldn´t hestitate to accept any other kind of employment in your company, but from what I´ve learned, qualified occupation is necessary to H-class visa application..

I have learning new things all my life, and Im still eager to learn more. Even if I dont have university education,
During those years as a CNC programmer, I have gained more knowledge and experience in this field than most universities could teach me.. Although I do not use everything I learned in high school at the workplace, I still use most off it in my personal life from time to time, so I believe I could call myself an "IT specialist" as well.

If you´re interested, I will send you my CV with every other details you´d like to know.

I hope you find this of interest and shall look forward to hearing from you.


Yours sincerely,

Lukas Jelenny
...
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  #5  
Old 27-May-2009, 10:39
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Default Re: Could you help me with a formal letter?

Oh - I posted it in a wrong section then. Sorry about that..

And of course - thanks a billion, Anglika!
You have no idea how much I appreciate it : ))

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!
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