Diary - Two weeks ago, water leaked from the ceiling at midnight.

[Maybo]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

Two weeks ago, water leaked from the ceiling at midnight. Actually, it had already happened twice in the bathroom but this time, it happened in the hallway. It was like raining. Immediately, we went up to talk to the residents, and he said that one of his family members forgot to turn off the tap. I was quite shock at the moment because the sink usually has a hole on the upper part. I hope the ceiling wouldn’t collapse.

 

[Tarheel]

Try: "It had happened twice before in the bathroom...." And: "It was like it was raining."

You need to replace "he" with something. (It doesn't go with "neighbors".)

Perhaps: "I was surprised that the wash basin had overflowed, because the bowl has one of those drainage things near the top." (I know it has a name, but I can't think of it.)

Say: "I hope the ceiling doesn't collapse."

@Maybo I you want to keep that word, say, "I was shocked ...."

 

[tedmc]

The opening into which excess water overflows is called an overflow outlet.

"The ceiling" is whose ceiling?

"At the moment" is "now". Do you mean " at that moment"?

 

[Maybo]

"The ceiling" is whose ceiling?

My ceiling.

"At the moment" is "now". Do you mean " at that moment"?

Yes, at that moment.

 

[emsr2d2]

Two weeks ago, water leaked from came through the my hallway ceiling at midnight. Actually, It had already [previously] happened twice in the bathroom but this was the first time no comma here it had happened in the hallway. It was like as if it was raining. We immediately no comma here we went up to talk to the residents, and he one of them said that one of his family members a family member forgot had forgotten to turn off the tap. I was quite shocked at the moment because the sinks usually has have a hole on the upper part an overflow [hole]. I hoped the ceiling wouldn’t collapse.

Note my corrections above. I don't know who "we" refers to because you said it's "my ceiling". Who went up to talk to the residents? Are you specifically talking about the residents of the flat directly above yours?

 

[Maybo]

Note my corrections above. I don't know who "we" refers to because you said it's "my ceiling". Who went up to talk to the residents? Are you specifically talking about the residents of the flat directly above yours?

"We" refers to my family members and me. My family members and I went up to talk to the residents who live directly above our flat.

 

[emsr2d2]

In that case, I'd say "our hallway ceiling". Saying "my hallway ceiling" suggests you live alone.

 

[Maybo]

Why do I need “had” for “this was the first time it had happened in the hallway”?

 

[Tarheel]

Why do I need “had” for “this was the first time it had happened in the hallway”?

You don't. In fact, you altered the original phrase. It's "but this time it happened in the hallway".

I hope you've gotten the problem fixed.

 

[Maybo]

You don't. In fact, you altered the original phrase. It's "but this time it happened in the hallway".

I hope you've gotten the problem fixed.

emsr2d2 added “had”.

 

[emsr2d2]

emsr2d2 added “had”.

And I stand by that addition.

 

[Maybo]

And I stand by that addition.

Why is that needed?

 

[Tarheel]

The full sentence should be:

It had happened twice in the bathroom, but this time it happened in the hallway.

What reason there would be for another "had" there I have no idea.

 

[emsr2d2]

I'm looking at the order in which things happened. The leaking in the hallway happened before the writer went up to talk to the neighbours and before writing this piece.

 

[Maybo]

“Went up” happened before “one of them said”. I’m wondering if it is required to use “had”. I’d like to know how do I decide when to use the past perfect for showing the order.

 

[tedmc]

“Went up” happened before “one of them said”. I’m (was) wondering if it is required to use “had”. I’d like to know how do I decide when to use the past perfect for showing to distinguish the order of events.

You use the past perfect tense to distinguish clearly which event, amongst others in a series, occurred first, to avoid ambiguity.