[Essay] ...clapped his hands...

[rodgers white]

Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.

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Over the next few weeks, Laohu proved to be a dutiful and very caring husband and father to be. With the mothers taking turns looking after Weifeng, he was able to resume hunting which included his mother when she was not looking after Weifeng. One morning he noticed his mother did not seem well. In fact, her condition reminded him of Weifeng. “Mother, are you sick…or with child?”

Lili looked both guilty and embarrassed. “To be honest, I’m not sure, it only started yesterday. I think I’m too old to have a baby. At least, I thought I was, but now I’m not so sure.”

Laohu said, “Well, maybe you should sit this one out. Your retching is going to scare off the game. I’ll get dad to take a look at you when we get back. You can wait in the clearing ahead.”

Later, after they returned from the hunt, Jiang was examining his wife. “Well, it seems I’m going to be a father.” Laohu clapped his hands enthusiastically.

Both Lili and Jiang feigned an angry look. Jiang said, “Don’t tell anyone… except Weifeng, but make sure she knows not to share this information just yet. It is unusual for a mature woman to have a baby, but your mother is extremely healthy. So, she might be an exception.”

 

[Tarheel]

Offhand, I can think of only one thing I would change. Try;

Mother, are you sick? Or with child?

But "with child" is rather old-fashioned.

Perhaps:

Mom, are you sick? Or -- or -- or -- pregnant? Oh my gosh! You're not pregnant, are you?

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.

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Over the next few weeks, Laohu proved to be a dutiful and very caring husband and father-to-be. With the mothers taking turns looking after Weifeng, he was able to resume hunting, which included his mother when she was not looking after Weifeng. One morning he noticed his mother did not seem well. In fact, her condition reminded him of Weifeng. “Mother, are you sick—or with child?”

Lili looked both guilty and embarrassed. “To be honest, I’m not sure. It only started yesterday. I think I’m too old to have a baby. At least, I thought I was, but now I’m not so sure.”

Laohu said, “Well, maybe you should sit this one out. Your retching is going to scare off the game. I’ll get dad to take a look at you when we get back. You can wait in the clearing ahead.”

Later, after they returned from the hunt, Jiang was examining his wife. “Well, it seems I’m going to be a father.” Laohu clapped his hands enthusiastically.

Both Lili and Jiang feigned an angry look. Jiang said, “Don’t tell anyone—except Weifeng. But make sure she knows not to share this information just yet. It is unusual for a mature woman to have a baby, but your mother is extremely healthy. So, she might be an exception.”

You're using fewer run-on sentences. I only found two. That's good!

You'll notice in contemporary English language books that a pause is usually show by a long dash (—), not an elipsis.

You'll also notice that elipses have spaces between the dots (. . .).

 

[emsr2d2]

You'll also notice that ellipses have spaces between the dots (. . .).

No, they don't. They have a space at the start and another at the end, but the three dots should have no breaks between them ... like that.

 

[rodgers white]

Anything to improve?

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Over the next few weeks, Laohu proved to be a dutiful and very caring husband and father-to-be. With the mothers taking turns looking after Weifeng, he was able to resume hunting, which included his mother when she was not looking after Weifeng. One morning he noticed his mother did not seem well. In fact, her condition reminded him of Weifeng. “Mother, are you sick — or with child?”

Lili looked both guilty and embarrassed. “To be honest, I’m not sure. It only started yesterday. I think I’m too old to have a baby. At least, I thought I was, but now I’m not so sure.”

Laohu said, “Well, maybe you should sit this one out. Your retching is going to scare off the game. I’ll get dad to take a look at you when we get back. You can wait in the clearing ahead.”

Later, after they returned from the hunt, Jiang was examining his wife. “Well, it seems I’m going to be a father.” Laohu clapped his hands enthusiastically.

Both Lili and Jiang feigned an angry look. Jiang said, “Don’t tell anyone — except Weifeng. But make sure she knows not to share this information just yet. It is unusual for a mature woman to have a baby, but your mother is extremely healthy. So, she might be an exception.”

 

[Tarheel]

There are a couple of things I'm not sure about. Laohu left his mother in a clearing while he continued with the hunt.

Jiang examined his wife. Was that to determine if she was pregnant?

 

[rodgers white]

There are a couple of things I'm not sure about. Laohu left his mother in a clearing while he continued with the hunt.

Jiang examined his wife. Was that to determine if she was pregnant?

Yup. Jiang was a healer in his tribe. As for how to determine if she was pregnant, doctors in ancient China praciticing traditional Chinese medicine determined if a woman is pregnant by just feeling her pulse. I really doubt the accuracy of the technique.

By the way, one of the oldest descriptions of a pregnancy test comes from ancient Egypt, where women who suspected they were pregnant would urinate on wheat and barley seeds: If the wheat grew, they believed, it meant the woman was having a girl; the barley, a boy; if neither plant sprouted, she wasn't pregnant at all.:lol:

 

[emsr2d2]

By the way, one of the oldest descriptions of a pregnancy test comes from ancient Egypt, where women who suspected they were pregnant would urinate on wheat and barley seeds: If the wheat grew, they believed, it meant the woman was having a girl; the barley, a boy; if neither plant sprouted, she wasn't pregnant at all.:lol:

That's hilarious! By the time the wheat or barley had grown, it would be more than clear whether she was pregnant or not.

 

[Tarheel]

I think pregnancy tests are more accurate nowadays.