[General] Correction

Muktha_Rushu

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Joined
Jul 18, 2017
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Student or Learner
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Malayalam
Home Country
India
Current Location
Australia
Could you please correct the sentences below?

The company which I worked before/ My previous company is a trade and service oriented company. We provide services to the products we sell. The main service includes installation and commissioning of the products and two site visits per month for the product check to ensure the smooth functioning of the site.

Regards,
Muktha
 

Lynxear

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Joined
Dec 20, 2007
Member Type
Retired English Teacher
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English
Home Country
Canada
Current Location
Canada
The company which I worked before/ My previous company is a trade and service oriented company. We provide services to the products we sell. The main service includes installation and commissioning of the products and two site visits per month for the product check to ensure the smooth functioning of the site.

I would change the above as follows:

The first sentence should use the past tense for "is" since you no longer work there.

My former company was a trade and service oriented business.

It is not a good idea to repeat words in the same sentence when other alternatives are available. Therefore I changed the second "company" to "business"

All sentences should be in the past tense for the reason stated earlier. I would break up the third sentence and combine some of it with the second sentence

We provided services including installation and commissioning of all the products we sold.

I have added a time period to the last sentence as it is unclear whether the visits for only one month or more.

For a period of one year two visits were made each month to the site following the installation in order to ensure the product functioned properly.

All together the sentences would look like this.

My former company was a trade and service oriented business. We provided services including installation and commissioning of all the products we sold. For a period of one year two visits were made each month to the site following the installation in order to ensure the product functioned properly.
 
Last edited:

Lynxear

Member
Joined
Dec 20, 2007
Member Type
Retired English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Canada
Current Location
Canada
Deleted... somehow my post was duplicated
 
Last edited:
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