Dear Mr. Hotel Manager

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sadias

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Dear Mr. Hotel Manager
When I came to stay at your Hotel last week, I was not happy because when I had my bath in the morning, it took such a long time for the water to get hot before I could have my shower, this made me very late for my meeting. When I went to breakfast and nobody told me that I had to help myself to tea and coffee so I was waiting and waiting for the waitress to check. Then I was really cross because the boom in the parking garage was stuck and I had to wait about 4 minutes for somebody to sort it out. Somebody should tell you that you have to help yourself to tea/ coffee. Also it would be nice if you could leave some maps at the boom in the parking garage in case people forget to ask inside the hotel for a map and you are a ne person visiting Cape Town. Also I did not find the cleaning lady to be very friendly when I greeted her ion a friendly way, it is important that people in your Hotel are very friendly all the time even if the and having a bad day because it makes us (the people staying in your Hotel feel as if we are not welcome and maybe I will stay at another place next time because I think other people in other hotels are very friendly. When I was asking the lady for a map, the person next to her was having a private conversation on the phone and there were other people (staying at the hotel) waiting for help, then the lady helping me sent me to another desk to get a map, I noticed that the flowers are very beautiful, this other lady was very helpful
Yours Sincerely
 

Barb_D

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How is it you would like us to help you with this?
 

sadias

New member
Joined
Jun 7, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
I please need you to assist me with the following:

Check paragraphs according to guidelines above
Make the letter consise

Please i need help urgently

Many Thanks
 

Barb_D

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Staff member
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Mar 12, 2007
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American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Your essays wanders all over.

Keep the points of your complaints together.
- lack of hot water
- not knowing about the self-service tea
- employees not focused on customer service
- the boom on the garage door
- lack of maps

You have some run-on sentences. Make your sentences shorter if you have to, but don't join two sentences with a comma.

(I think complaining that the cleaning lady didn't act all happy to see you is pretty weak. However, an employee having a personal conversation while guests are waiting for service is a real issue.)
 

sadias

New member
Joined
Jun 7, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
Thanks Barb

Your assistance is much appreciated :-D
 
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