Diary entry - Today, while my mother was on the phone,

[Maybo]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

Today, while my mother was on the phone, I heard that she was going to attend a talk. I asked her what it was about. She said the talk was to promote positive energy. I doubt, "What's it exactly about?“ She explained that there would be a spiritual mentor guiding them how to think positively. When I heard "spiritual mentor", I was alerted. I warned her that some people took the name of "spiritual mentor" and brainwashed people and asked them for money. My mother said the talk was free and she didn't have money, so no need to worried about. It was really suspicious, and I asked her to give me the name of the organiser. I googled it and did find out the fraud information about the organiser! I showed it to my mum, "See! They ask people to give them money." My mother said the friend who invited her to attend the talk had already contributed one million dollar to the organisation. What?! "Then why do you still go?", I surprised. She said she won't be cheated. “That was naïve”, I thought to myself. Fortunately, I successfully stopped her.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

Today, while my mother was on the phone, I heard that she was going to attend a talk. I asked her what it was about. She said the talk was to promote positive energy. I said, "What's it about, exactly?“ She explained that there would be a spiritual mentor guiding them in how to think positively. When I heard "spiritual mentor", I was alarmed. I warned her that some people call themselves "spiritual mentor" and brainwash[STRIKE]ed[/STRIKE] people and ask[STRIKE]ed[/STRIKE] them for money. My mother said the talk was free and she didn't have money, so no there was need to worry [STRIKE]about[/STRIKE]. It was really suspicious, so I asked her to give me the name of the organiser. I googled it and did find [STRIKE]out the[/STRIKE] fraud information about the organiser! I showed it to my mum. "See! They ask people to give them money." My mother said the friend who invited her to attend the talk had already contributed one million dollars to the organisation. [STRIKE]What?![/STRIKE] "Then why are you still going?"[STRIKE],[/STRIKE] I was surprised. She said she won't be cheated. [STRIKE]“[/STRIKE]That's naïve[STRIKE]”[/STRIKE], I thought to myself. Fortunately, I succeeded in stopping her.

Over the years, unspoken thoughts have been denoted in many ways in writing, but today I usually see them in italics.

I'd like to see what others here think of the use of interrobangs (?!).

 

[tedmc]

I googled it and did find out the fraud information about the organiser!

What "fraud information" did you find that confirms that the organiser is a cheat?

 

[Maybo]

What "fraud information" did you find that confirms that the organiser is a cheat?[/COLOR]

Some articles about how they ask money from their members. For example, they offer different titles, and if members want to get a superior title, they have to pay up to millions of dollars.

 

[emsr2d2]

I'd say that you found some suspicious information about him, or that you found evidence of fraud. I don't like "found some fraud information" at all.

 

[Tarheel]

Some articles about how they ask for money from their members. For example, they offer different titles, and if members want to get a better title, they have to pay up to millions of dollars.

It is not unusual for nonprofit organizations to ask for contributions, but that certainly is unusual.

 

[Tarheel]

Try:

They have to pay up to X number of dollars....