Diary - Last night, I hung out with Lily to take some photos

[Maybo]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

Last night, I hung out with Lily to take some photos of Christmas decorations. At dinner, I mentioned one of our mutual friends, Mary, who had a paranormal experience at a quarantine facility two years ago. Lily had a paranormal experience too. She said one night while she was sleeping, she suddenly had difficulty breathing. She then opened her eyes and saw a woman sitting on top of her trying to strangle her throat. Lily couldn't move and kept struggling. Finally, somehow the woman disappeared. She told her parents and they enlisted a Chinese priest to perform a ritual at her apartment in order to ward off any bad spirits. However, since then, she occasionally encounters strange things she can't explain.

 

[tedmc]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

Last night, I hung out with Lily and I went out to take some photos of Christmas decorations. At dinner, I mentioned that one of our mutual friends, Mary, who had a paranormal experience at a quarantine facility two years ago. Lily had a paranormal experienced that too. She said, one night, while she was sleeping, she suddenly had difficulty breathing. She then opened her eyes and saw a woman sitting on top of her trying to strangle her throat. Lily couldn't move and kept struggling. Finally, somehow the woman disappeared. She told her parents and they enlisted a Chinese priest to perform a ritual at her apartment in order to ward off any bad spirits. However, since then, she still occasionally encounters strange things she can't explain.

 

[Tarheel]

If you insert "that" into the second sentence then you have to delete "who".

 

[Maybo]

If you insert "that" into the second sentence then you have to delete "who".

I can say :
1. At dinner, I mentioned one of our mutual friends, Mary, who had a paranormal experience at a quarantine facility two years ago.
2. At dinner, I mentioned that one of our mutual friends, Mary, had a paranormal experience at a quarantine facility two years ago.

Am I right?

 

[tedmc]

I can say :
1. At dinner, I mentioned one of our mutual friends, Mary, who had a paranormal experience at a quarantine facility two years ago.
2. At dinner, I mentioned that one of our mutual friends, Mary, had a paranormal experience at a quarantine facility two years ago.

Am I right?

In 1, it sounds strange to me that you merely mentioned the person when your focus was what she went through.That's why I added "that" but forgot to delete the "who".