[General] Editing

[roberta langs]

Hi, It's me Roberta again. I was outside relaxing and this had come to mind. Your help and thoughts.

I’ve watched you grow into a fine young man with such (sincere - keep - don't want to over do it) kindness and compassion for others which (that) is (so very) or (very) rare in the world today (rarely seen in the world today). I couldn’t be more proud of you. I am truly blessed to have a son like you.

 

[roberta langs]

[FONT=&quot]Hi, Roberta again. Your expertise and thoughts please. Thank you.

I’ve watched you grow into a fine young man with such kindness and compassion for others which is (so very) or (very) rare in the world today (rarely seen in the world today). I couldn’t be more proud of you. I am truly blessed to have a son like you. [/FONT]

 

[riquecohen]

[FONT=&quot]Hi, Roberta again. Your expertise and thoughts please. Thank you.

I’ve watched you grow into a fine young man with such kindness and compassion for others which is (so very) [/FONT][STRIKE]or (very[/STRIKE][FONT=&quot]) rare in the world today[/FONT][STRIKE] (rarely seen in the world today).[/STRIKE][FONT=&quot] I couldn’t be more proud of you. I am truly blessed to have a son like you. [/FONT]

Less is more. In general, go for the shorter expressions.

 

[roberta langs]

Thanks for your honesty! Have a beautiful day.

 

[roberta langs]

Question - why wouldn't we use "are" with kindness and compassion?

 

[roberta langs]

I really do need to hand this in today...please be patient with me, I'm just exploring all versions..

Would you change this to read...

I've watched you grow into a fine young man with such kindness and compassion that I couldn't be more proud of (you) instead of .... that any mother would be proud of... I was just questioning the part of "any mother" I am truly blessed to have you like a son.

Your thoughts

 

[roberta langs]

Hi Henry.. one more....and then have a beautiful day!

 

[riquecohen]

Question - why wouldn't we use "are" with kindness and compassion?

There couild be some argument about this. I see kindness and compassion toward others as a collective phrase which would take a singular verb form. Others (perhaps most others) would use the plural are. Go with what makes you more comfortable!

 

[riquecohen]

I really do need to hand this in today...please be patient with me, I'm just exploring all versions..

Would you change this to read...

I've watched you grow into a fine young man, with such kindness and compassion that I couldn't be more proud of (you) instead of ...[STRIKE]. that any mother would be proud of...[/STRIKE] I was just questioning the part of "any mother" I am truly blessed to have you [STRIKE]like[/STRIKE] for a son.

Your thoughts

I like this new revision.

 

[roberta langs]

Thanks Henry! I LOVE this one to! I like the way it pertains to me and not all mothers!

1) Are you omitting "you" after proud of....or leaving it? It was never mentioned above one way or another.

2) I left out "for others" after kindness and compassion in my original version above, my mistake.

3) Please revise punctuations and grammar for me. I see you added a comma after young man above. I'm not sure if that should still be there with the addition of some words.

[FONT=&quot]I‘ve watched you grow into a fine young man, with such kindness and compassion (toward or for) for others that I couldn’t be more proud of (omit or add--- you). (I am or I'm) truly blessed to have you as my son.




[/FONT]