[Grammar] Grammar

[QuanLe]

Hello everyone, this is my first essay. And I am practicing writing english, any comments are welcome. Please score and correct my essay. Thank you so much.




You know, computers are very popular in the world. By using computers people can makes friends, share informations, learn something new and study together. And you can say that computer can do everything for you.
Now in looking back, about ten years ago, the first time I learn how to use computer, you know that at that time I ran into a lot of problems, because everything are being new for me, it is really hard to use it. I ask my farther for help, luckily he knows it, and he taught me the basic. I really happy with that, soon after about 2 months I got farmiliar with it, and you know from that time I can use computer whenever I want.
But now, I can say that I know everything about computer, I have been working with computers or playing game. And I realize that if you use computer for work it will help you a lot, hard work will become easier./

 

[teechar]

Hello everyone, this is my first essay. And I am practising writing in English. Any comments are welcome. Please score and correct my essay. Thank you so much.

Hello QuanLe, and welcome to the forum. :hi:

What was the essay question, and where did you get it?

 

[QuanLe]

Hello teechar.

There are no any questions. That is my personal idea about computers.

Please correct my essay, teechar.

Thanks.

 

[emsr2d2]

Before we continue, please check the information in your member profile, particularly the Current Location section. If it is not accurate, please correct it.

 

[QuanLe]

Hello emsr2d2, I am Vietnamese people, now I work in Japan.
I will come back to Vietnam in May this year. That is why I set my location in Vietnam.

I will reset my location now.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

I am Vietnamese, and I am currently working in Japan. I will go back to Vietnam in May of this year. That is why I set my location as Vietnam.

 

[Tarheel]

It doesn't mean anything to say that computers are popular. Perhaps:

Computers are in very wide use all over the world

 

[Tarheel]

Perhaps:

By using computers people can make friends, share information, and learn things.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

Computers are in many devices.

Get out of the habit of using "you know".

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

About ten years ago I learned how to use a computer. I had a lot of problems because everything was new to me.

 

[emsr2d2]

QuanLe, despite your statement in post #5, your location stlll shows Vietnam.

 

[bubbha]

And I am practising writing in English.

I'm not sure why you changed "practicing" to "practising". It's correctly spelled with a "c". Even spellcheck puts a red line under "practising".

 

[bubbha]

You know, computers are very popular in the world. By using computers people can makes friends, share informations, learn something new and study together. And you can say that computer can do everything for you.
Now in looking back, about ten years ago, the first time I learn how to use computer, you know that at that time I ran into a lot of problems, because everything are being new for me, it is really hard to use it. I ask my farther for help, luckily he knows it, and he taught me the basic. I really happy with that, soon after about 2 months I got farmiliar with it, and you know from that time I can use computer whenever I want.
But now, I can say that I know everything about computer, I have been working with computers or playing game. And I realize that if you use computer for work it will help you a lot, hard work will become easier./

A few criticisms:

The phrase "you know" is a bad speech habit, like saying "um". It's a filler often uttered when a speaker is trying to think of what to say next. It should be avoided in speech, but even more so, avoid it when writing. (There are exceptions, of course, like quoting someone, writing about bad speech habits, or using the words "you" and "know" together in a different context.)

"information" should not be pluralized.

Single-digit numbers are usually written as a word. "two months", not "2 months".

If you want to write in a more formal style, avoid words and phrases like "a lot", "lots of", and "really".

 

[QuanLe]

Hello,
I have re-set my current location. Please check it again.

 

[QuanLe]

Hello bubbha,

What are the words I should use to replace these words "a lot, lots of, really".

Thank you, bubbha.

 

[Tarheel]

a lot; lots of

a considerable amount
a great deal
a large number
quite a bit
quite a few
many

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

I asked my father for help, and he was able to teach me the basics, which he did.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

I was glad that my father helped me. His instructions helped me to learn. I familiarized myself with the computer, and now I can use it whenever I want to.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

If you have a computer you can do things you can't do otherwise.

 

[Tarheel]

I'm not sure why you changed "practicing" to "practising". It's correctly spelled with a "c". Even spellcheck puts a red line under "practising".

I believe teechar uses British spellings.