I hope I can go back to the beach soon

[alpacinou]

Is this okay?

I hope I can go back to the beach soon. The gentle whoosh of the breeze that ran of the gray water is still ringing in my ears. I hope I can go back to the beach soon.

 

[emsr2d2]

Did you mean to make sentences 1 and 3 identical? I don't think it works.
Also, "ran of the grey water" doesn't make sense.

 

[alpacinou]

Did you mean to make sentences 1 and 3 identical? I don't think it works.
Also, "ran of the grey water" doesn't make sense.

No it was a typo.

I hope I can go back to the beach soon. The gentle whoosh of the breeze that ran off the gray water is still ringing in my ears.

If not, what can I say instead of "ran off"?

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Is this okay?

I hope I can go back to the beach soon. The gentle whoosh of the breeze that ran off the gray water is still singing/humming/echoing in my ears. I hope I can go back to the beach soon.

Ringing in the ears is usually painful. Otherwise, it's fine.

 

[alpacinou]

Ringing in the ears is usually painful.

Doesn't this work?

The sound of her sweet laughter is still ringing in my ears.

Can I use hum or echo there?

The sound of her sweet laughter is still echoing/singing/humming in my ears.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

I like those better. Maybe someone else here will have an opinion.

 

[Tdol]

I would use echo. I like ran off.