[Grammar] Is this paragraph correct?

[ladyTL]

“All families have their own secrets that none of the family members wants to go public about, even the Rutland, one of England’s richest families have secrets. “, this is what Catherine Bailey declared in her book. Sian Griffiths wrote a book review on Bailey’s “the secret rooms”, he found it not only gothic and mystery but also true. Sian claims, Bailey was expecting to write about things such the journeys of the Belvoir volunteers, how the war ended and so on. But due to her discoveries, they led to a totally different and (unexpected) book. When Bailey realized that there were three missing parts of the archives, she suspected John, the 9[SUP]th[/SUP] duke, states Griffiths. The missing parts consist of John’s life, which he was ashamed of and therefore tried to conceal them. The first part was about the death of the 9[SUP]th[/SUP] duke’s brother; the second about his father’s attempt to sell his inheritance and the third was about no one but the 9[SUP]th[/SUP] duke himself. John had stomach bug, but instead of go back as soon as he became well and supporting the men at the front line, he stayed at home longer than necessary.
Griffiths alleged, if the Rutland could determine, this book would never been written.


Thanks a lot!

 

[billmcd]

“All families have their own secrets that none of the family members want[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] to go public about, "even the Rutlands, one of England’s richest families, have secrets“. This is what Catherine Bailey declared in her book. Sian Griffiths wrote a book review on Bailey’s “the secret rooms”, he found it not only gothic and mysterious but also true. Sian claims Bailey was expecting to write about things such as the journeys of the Belvoir volunteers, how the war ended and so on. But due to her discoveries, they led to a totally different (and unexpected) book. When Bailey realized that there were three missing parts of the archives, she suspected John, the 9[SUP]th[/SUP] duke, states Griffiths. The missing parts consist of John’s life, which he was ashamed of and therefore tried to concealthem. The first part was about the death of the 9[SUP]th[/SUP] duke’s brother; the second about his father’s attempt to sell his inheritance and the third was about no one but the 9[SUP]th[/SUP] duke himself. John had a stomach bug, but instead of [STRIKE]go back [/STRIKE] returning as soon as he became well and supporting the men at the front line, he stayed at home longer than necessary.
Griffiths alleged, if the Rutlands could determine (?), this book would never have been written.


Thanks a lot!

Suggestions. Not sure what you mean by "could determine", maybe "had known"?

 

[bhaisahab]

“All families have their own secrets that none of the family members wants to go public about, even the Rutland, one of England’s richest families have secrets. “, this is what Catherine Bailey declared in her book. Sian Griffiths wrote a book review on Bailey’s “the secret rooms”, he found it not only gothic and mystery but also true. Sian claims, Bailey was expecting to write about things such the journeys of the Belvoir volunteers, how the war ended and so on. But due to her discoveries, they led to a totally different and (unexpected) book. When Bailey realized that there were three missing parts of the archives, she suspected John, the 9[SUP]th[/SUP] duke, states Griffiths. The missing parts consist of John’s life, which he was ashamed of and therefore tried to conceal them. The first part was about the death of the 9[SUP]th[/SUP] duke’s brother; the second about his father’s attempt to sell his inheritance and the third was about no one but the 9[SUP]th[/SUP] duke himself. John had stomach bug, but instead of go back as soon as he became well and supporting the men at the front line, he stayed at home longer than necessary.
Griffiths alleged, if the Rutland could determine, this book would never been written.


Thanks a lot!

What do you mean by "correct"? Do you want to know if it is grammatical or if it is well written?

 

[bhaisahab]

“All families have their own secrets that none of the family members wants to go public about, even the Rutland, one of England’s richest families have secrets. “, this is what Catherine Bailey declared in her book. Sian Griffiths wrote a book review on Bailey’s “the secret rooms”, he found it not only gothic and mystery but also true. Sian claims, Bailey was expecting to write about things such the journeys of the Belvoir volunteers, how the war ended and so on. But due to her discoveries, they led to a totally different and (unexpected) book. When Bailey realized that there were three missing parts of the archives, she suspected John, the 9[SUP]th[/SUP] duke, states Griffiths. The missing parts consist of John’s life, which he was ashamed of and therefore tried to conceal them. The first part was about the death of the 9[SUP]th[/SUP] duke’s brother; the second about his father’s attempt to sell his inheritance and the third was about no one but the 9[SUP]th[/SUP] duke himself. John had stomach bug, but instead of go back as soon as he became well and supporting the men at the front line, he stayed at home longer than necessary.
Griffiths alleged, if the Rutland could determine, this book would never been written.


Thanks a lot!

What do you mean by "correct"? Do you want to know if it is grammatical or if it is well written?

 

[ladyTL]

Suggestions. Not sure what you mean by "could determine", maybe "had known"?

I mean that, if the Ruthlands could choose, they won't write such a book. Do you understand me?

 

[ladyTL]

What do you mean by "correct"? Do you want to know if it is grammatical or if it is well written?

Both

 

[bhaisahab]

Both

There are a number of problems with it, unfortunately I don't have time right now, but somebody might help you with it. If not I will look at it again tomorrow.

 

[ladyTL]

There are a number of problems with it, unfortunately I don't have time right now, but somebody might help you with it. If not I will look at it again tomorrow.

Thanks a lot!

 

[bhaisahab]

Thanks a lot!

“All families have secrets that none of the family members want made public; even the Rutland family, one of England’s richest, have secrets“, Catherine Bailey declared in her book "The Secret Rooms". In her review of Bailey’s book, Sian Griffiths writes that she found it not only Gothic and mysterious but also true. Sian states that Bailey was expecting to write about things such the journeys of the Belvoir volunteers and how the war ended. But her discoveries led to a totally different and unexpected book.
Here are my suggestions for the first part.