Is 'which are' needed after companies for balance?

[bertietheblue]

'Companies in the business of receiving deposits from the general public and which grant loans must be licensed as banks.'

I often see structures like this in the documents I proofread. Do you think 'Companies which are ...' is needed for balance or is the above acceptable?

 

[corum]

'Companies in the business of receiving deposits from the general public and which grant loans must be licensed as banks.'

I often see structures like this in the documents I proofread. Do you think 'Companies which are ...' is needed for balance or is the above acceptable?

First it should be understood that I am not a proofreader, but just someone who learns English for fun. The sentence is not ungrammatical, but stylistically poor, IMHO.

I would offer this:
Companies in the business of receiving deposits from the general public and [STRIKE]which[/STRIKE] granting loans (to them) must be licensed as banks.

 

[Tdol]

It's acceptable to me.

 

[Barb_D]

I do like the more parallel version but the original seems fine to me. If you're proofing, I'd let it go; if you're line editing, I'd make the change.

 

[bertietheblue]

I've probably p***ed off a few lawyers over the years then, correcting this. Oh well!

 

[corum]

I've probably p***ed off a few lawyers over the years then, correcting this. Oh well!

In the grand scheme of things, that is not the end of the world. :up:
JPN- CMR 1:0