My Ex-Teacher

[nasserph]

Hi
Please find mistakes in my paragraph

My ex-teacher is a very organized teacher. He always shows up on time, actually he comes five minutes early to prepare his papers. He starts each lesson by addressing the topics we are going to study, and explains each topic clearly and simplifies it as much as he can. Moreover, he manages the class very well. For example, he gives each student his time to speak and doesn’t allow any student to interrupt other while he speaks. To sum up, my ex-teacher is a really together person.

 

[Barb_D]

Hi
Please find mistakes in my paragraph

My ex-teacher is a very organized teacher. He always shows up on time, actually he comes five minutes early to prepare his papers. He starts each lesson by addressing the topics we are going to study, and explains each topic clearly and simplifies it as much as he can. Moreover, he manages the class very well. For example, he gives each student his time to speak and doesn’t allow any student to interrupt other while he speaks. To sum up, my ex-teacher is a really together person.

All in all, this is fine.

Look at the parts in pink. You have problems there.

Are all the students in your school boys? If so, you're fine the way you are. These days, we don't usually use "he" to mean both boys and girls.

"Together" is a rather informal word, but the rest of the essay is a bit more formal. Is there a synonym you can use?

 

[BobK]

All in all, this is fine.

Look at the parts in pink. You have problems there.

Are all the students in your school boys? If so, you're fine the way you are. These days, we don't usually use "he" to mean both boys and girls.

"Together" is a rather informal word, but the rest of the essay is a bit more formal. Is there a synonym you can use?

Fine-ish ! It should still be 'another'; and 'another' is rather formal - 'another student' would be better. And though some contexts might allow the present simple, the present continuous would be more likely.

b

 

[Barb_D]

The pink "other" was a problem regardless of the sexes. I was referring only to the use of "he." Your comment is much clearer.

 

[nasserph]

Thanks a lot guys.