Narrative paragraph

[nhungnguyen13]

I have just read an Narrative paragraph. I really like to try to make one. if you have some idea about my paragraph, pls share with me. thanks

A Horrific Experience​

Today is also the day that I had a painful experience 3 years ago. At that time, I had a lovely dog, LuLu. I spent all of my free time looking after him, and I loved him so much. LuLu used to play with me in the garden and often warmly welcome me at the gate when I come back. That day, the first day of my first work after graduation, I happily went home after work. As usual, he ran out the gate and picked me up. He often observes carefully before crossing the road, but that time was a contrary. He crossed the road without aware that one truck was rushing with lightning speed. I screamed, but it was too late, the truck could not break in time. I turned panic-stricken at the sight of horrific scenes, my dog ​​was crushed by truck. He was sore in a pool of blood, breathed the weak breath. Everything collapsed and I immediately cried. Lulu was gone forever. Although many years have passed, there is still day which I'll never forget in my mind, the day that I lost my best friend.

 

[teechar]

I have just read [STRIKE]an N[/STRIKE] a narrative paragraph, and I would really like to try to [STRIKE]make[/STRIKE] write one. If you have [STRIKE]some idea[/STRIKE] any comments/suggestions about my paragraph, please share them with me. Thanks.

A Horrific Experience
​

[STRIKE]Today is also the[/STRIKE] This day [STRIKE]that I had a painful experience[/STRIKE] 3 years ago, I had a painful experience. At that time, I had a lovely dog called LuLu. I spent all of my free time looking after him, and I loved him so much. LuLu used to play with me in the garden and often warmly welcome me at the gate when I came [STRIKE]come[/STRIKE] back from school. That day, the first day [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] in my first [STRIKE]work[/STRIKE] job after graduating, [STRIKE]on,[/STRIKE] I happily went home after work. As usual, he ran out the gate to meet me. [STRIKE]and picked me up.[/STRIKE] He would often [STRIKE]observes[/STRIKE] look carefully before crossing the road, but that time he didn't. [STRIKE]was a contrary.[/STRIKE] He crossed the road without [STRIKE]aware[/STRIKE] noticing that [STRIKE]one[/STRIKE] a truck was rushing with lightning speed towards him. I screamed, but it was too late; the truck could not [STRIKE]break[/STRIKE] brake in time. I was absolutely shocked and horrified to see [STRIKE]turned panic-stricken at the sight of horrific scenes,[/STRIKE] my dog ​​[STRIKE]was[/STRIKE] crushed by truck. He was in pain, [STRIKE]sore[/STRIKE] lying in a pool of blood, and his breath was faint. [STRIKE]ed the weak breath.[/STRIKE] I felt everything had collapsed in my life, and I immediately cried. Lulu was gone forever. Although many years have passed, there is still that day which I'll never forget - [STRIKE]in my mind,[/STRIKE] the day that I lost my best friend.

RIP Lulu.

 

[nhungnguyen13]

Thanks for sharing me useful suggestions

 

[emsr2d2]

Thanks for sharing [STRIKE]me[/STRIKE] those/your useful suggestions [with me].

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