Persuasive essay for practice 2

Status
Not open for further replies.
Okay, I see that you've since edited post #20. However, that introduction still doesn't work. This is what you need in an introduction:

A sentence that introduces the topic to the reader. In your case, the topic is healthcare.
Healthcare requirements [STRIKE]is a need which is[/STRIKE] differ from person to person, according to their age, [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] activities, [STRIKE]just as food,[/STRIKE] profession, and living situation. [STRIKE]house, and games.[/STRIKE]

Then you can give some background
Nowadays, a wide range of healthcare services are available, thanks to the developments in medicine and technology. This has enabled people to have better health, live longer and be more productive.

Now, you need to introduce the issue/problem/question to the reader.
However, there is much debate about whether healthcare should be provided as a free service for everyone.

Finally, you state your position.
I strongly believe that any healthcare service should be paid for by the individual, not by the state.

Note that in the introduction:
1- We do not discuss anything.
2- We do not kill off the essay by using "because X, ... should Y". The discussions, arguments and persuasion happen in the body paragraphs.
3- We do not include anything that we will not later discuss in the essay.

----------------------------------------------------------------

As for the conclusion:
1- Restate your position.
In conclusion, healthcare should not be provided free of charge. It should be [STRIKE]a personal duty[/STRIKE] paid for by the individual. [STRIKE]to take care of one's health.[/STRIKE]

Then you summarize the main findings/points of your body paragraphs.
Healthcare is a service and must be paid for like any other. Also, governments need to focus on prevention which is much cheaper. Moreover, some healthcare services are just too expensive to provide for free.

Finally, you can provide a relevant recommendation (without introducing any new ideas), if possible.
It is important to educate people about planning and saving money for their healthcare needs.

Now, put the essay together, and pay attention to your spelling and punctuation.
 
Healthcare requirements differ from person to person, according to their age, activities, profession and living situations. Nowadays, a wide range of healthcare services are available, thanks to the developments in medicine and technology. This has enabled people to have better health, live longer and be more productive. However, there is much debate about whether healthcare should be provided as a free service for everyone. I strongly believe that any healthcare service should be paid for by the individual, not by the state.


People should pay for their healthcare, just as they do for any other service. They pay for their hobbies, travels and even pay for their favourite foods. However, when it comes to the health, many shift the responsibility to the government to take care of. People look after their cars, kids, pets, and bear their responsibilities in those regards. Therefore in the same way, they should take responsibility and bear the cost of their healthcare.


Moreover, the government should focus on preventive programmes, which are far less costly than providing free healthcare. Such programmes would not only make people more aware about various illnesses, but also save the money and time needed in dealing with a disease outbreak. For example, malaria is under control in many regions due to the campaigns awareness about that disease, and regular mosquito-control programmes.


Furthermore, some healthcare services are simply too expensive to be free. Many chronic diseases need regular observation, doctor supervision, ultrasounds, and x-rays which costs a lot. That can represent an enormous to the government if all are provided free of charge. However, an individual need only pay, often through their insurance, for whatever service they receive.


In conclusion, healthcare should not be provided free of charge. It should be paid for by the individual. Healthcare is a service and must be paid for like any other. Also, governments need to focus on prevention which is much cheaper. Moreover, some healthcare services are just too expensive to provide for free. It is important to educate people about planning and saving money for their healthcare needs.
 
Just a few mistakes. I've highlighted them for you.
Healthcare requirements differ from person to person, according to their age, activities, profession and living situations. Nowadays, a wide range of healthcare services are available, thanks to the developments in medicine and technology. This has enabled people to have better health, live longer and be more productive. However, there is much debate about whether healthcare should be provided as a free service for everyone. I strongly believe that any healthcare service should be paid for by the individual, not by the state.


People should pay for their healthcare, just as they do for any other service. They pay for their hobbies, travels and even pay for their favourite foods. However, when it comes to the health, many shift the responsibility to the government to take care of. People look after their cars, kids, pets, and bear their responsibilities in those regards. Therefore in the same way, they should take responsibility and bear the cost of their healthcare.


Moreover, the government should focus on preventive programmes, which are far less costly than providing free healthcare. Such programmes would not only make people more aware about various illnesses, but also save the money and time needed in dealing with a disease outbreak. For example, malaria is under control in many regions due to the campaigns awareness about that disease, and regular mosquito-control programmes.


Furthermore, some healthcare services are simply too expensive to be free. Many chronic diseases need regular observation, doctor supervision, ultrasounds, and x-rays which costs a lot. That can represent an enormous to the government if all are provided free of charge. However, an individual need only pay, often through their insurance, for whatever service they receive.


In conclusion, healthcare should not be provided free of charge. It should be paid for by the individual. Healthcare is a service and must be paid for like any other. Also, governments need to focus on prevention which is much cheaper. Moreover, some healthcare services are just too expensive to provide for free. It is important to educate people about planning and saving money for their healthcare needs.
 
The definition of "free" is something somebody else pays for.

It's odd to me that Thoughtful keeps saying we even pay for our food as if that's something remarkable.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top