[Essay] The advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones

[Yehia 2006]

I am not an expert. I am just student at grade 8 and I want an evaluation for my paragraph.

In our world, mobile phones are the best communication tools. We always use our phones in calling, chatting,playing games,etc.they also include a lot of information to use. These are the advantages. But they have disadvantages. They make you spend a lot of time on it. This is dangerous on your eyes and brain. They make you as a stranger from your family. They destroy your health. Finally, l hope you take my advice and stay with your family. That's better than playing on your mobile phones

 

[Tarheel]

I am not an expert. I am just student at grade 8 and I want an evaluation of my paragraph.

In our world, mobile phones are the best communication tools. We always use our phones in calling, chatting,playing games,etc. They also include a lot of information to use. These are the advantages. But they have disadvantages. They make you spend a lot of time on them. This is dangerous to your eyes and brain. They make you as a stranger to your family. They destroy your health. Finally, l hope you take my advice and spend time with your family. That's better than playing games on your mobile phone[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE].

What if you live alone and don't have a family?

:-(

 

[Aubree]

The world has become a global village. One of the reasons for this is the increase in mobile phone subscribers. As more people get mobile phones in developing countries, it's easy for them to communicate with each other and with people around the world. More and more services are also becoming available on phones, making life easier for us all. Mobile phones have a number of advantages, but they also have some disadvantages.

 

[tedmc]

The world has become a global village. One of the reasons for this is the increase in mobile phone subscribers (users). As more people get (have) mobile phones in developing countries, it's easy for them to communicate with each other and with people around the world. More and more services are also becoming available on phones, making life easier for us all. Mobile phones have a number of advantages, but they also have some disadvantages.

I think "world" and "global" are tautologous. What do you mean "become a village"? The world has become smaller?