Water ingression

[PRD2021]

Upon site inspection, we noticed that water had leaked into the lighting fitting from the cable entry (screw collar loop with ring) through the threaded rod to the bulb socket.
In order to prevent the ingression of water through the cable entry, we need to apply proper waterproof sealant to the screw collar loop.

Are the above sentences grammatically sound and natural?

 

[Rover_KE]

I'd change 'lighting fitting' to 'light fitting', but apart from that, your sentences are fine in a formal, technical way.

 

[emsr2d2]

I'd open with "During the site inspection" or "Upon/On inspecting the site".