snjpverma
Member
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2017
- Member Type
- Interested in Language
- Native Language
- Hindi
- Home Country
- India
- Current Location
- India
I have written a tragic experience but I would like experts to make necessary corrections to it (esp. the bold part which I feel does not sound quite good). Don't restrict yourself from making corrections to the non-bold part though.
I was on my way to give my 10th grade exams. I reached the railway platform and found that the trains were running quite late. Due to the trains being late, the platform was over-crowded. I had a plan to go to another place after the exam, so I was carrying a heavy bag with me. The limited seats available on the platform were already occupied and lots of people were standing. I kept my bag on the platform-floor and waited for the train to come. People tried leaning on the platform and see as far as they could if the train was coming. Fortunately the train arrived after a few minutes. People rushed towards the end of the platform to board the train as soon as they can. Any delay would result in not being able to board the train. The train was jam packed already and there were so many of us waiting to board it. The train hadn't even stopped properly and people started rushing in. I too somehow managed to get into the train.
Such a strenuous task it was to get in!! The moment I got in the train, I heaved a sigh of relief. A few minutes of delay in the arrival of train would have resulted in me reaching late to the exam hall. Just two seconds in the train and “Oh Shit”, I uttered. I went absolutely numb. For a moment I just couldn’t think of anything. The whole world turned upside down for me/came crashing down. I never thought I would end up in such a tragic situation. Even though I knew it wasn’t possible, I tried my best to get out of the train. HOW I WISH I HADN’T LEFT MY BAG ON THE PLATFORM!!
Any help is highly appreciated.
I was on my way to give my 10th grade exams. I reached the railway platform and found that the trains were running quite late. Due to the trains being late, the platform was over-crowded. I had a plan to go to another place after the exam, so I was carrying a heavy bag with me. The limited seats available on the platform were already occupied and lots of people were standing. I kept my bag on the platform-floor and waited for the train to come. People tried leaning on the platform and see as far as they could if the train was coming. Fortunately the train arrived after a few minutes. People rushed towards the end of the platform to board the train as soon as they can. Any delay would result in not being able to board the train. The train was jam packed already and there were so many of us waiting to board it. The train hadn't even stopped properly and people started rushing in. I too somehow managed to get into the train.
Such a strenuous task it was to get in!! The moment I got in the train, I heaved a sigh of relief. A few minutes of delay in the arrival of train would have resulted in me reaching late to the exam hall. Just two seconds in the train and “Oh Shit”, I uttered. I went absolutely numb. For a moment I just couldn’t think of anything. The whole world turned upside down for me/came crashing down. I never thought I would end up in such a tragic situation. Even though I knew it wasn’t possible, I tried my best to get out of the train. HOW I WISH I HADN’T LEFT MY BAG ON THE PLATFORM!!
Any help is highly appreciated.