yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything

[kingston_123]

Mr Perlman says to his son, Elio:

In my place, most parents would hope the whole thing goes away. Pray their sons land on their feet, but I am not such a parent. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster, that we go bankrupt by the age of 30. And have less to offer, each time we start with someone new. But to make
yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything.

what is the meaning of "yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything"?
Source: Call Me by Your Name (2017) film
Screenplay: Luca Guadagnino, James Ivory, Walter Fasano

 

[emsr2d2]

You missed a vital word out of the part you asked about. You need to read it as "make yourself feel nothing ...". It means that some people suppress their feelings and emotions so that they feel absolutely nothing. They do this so they don't feel anything at all in order to avoid feeling anything bad. In the process, they remove their ability to feel anything good as well.