Diary - My mum gets

[Maybo]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

My mum gets urinary tract infections very often. Yesterday, she told me that she felt something wrong with her bladder again. After 15 minutes, it hit me that maybe the main cause is that she flushes the toilet while she's sitting on it. I remember a few days ago, I watched a short clip showing how high the spray would go when a toilet was flushed. Therefore, I showed her the video. She saw the spray shoot at least 3 feet into the air, and she was frightened.

 

[Tarheel]

I don't know why you put that in the past tense.

I would say:

I watched a short clip showing how high the spray goes when the toilet is flushed.

I don't know why you used "Therefore" to start the next sentence.

 

[Rover_KE]

You’re not confusing the toilet with the bidet, are you?

 

[Maybo]

how high the spray goes when the toilet is flushed.

I first used the present tense and then I changed. I watched the video in the past so I was thinking about consistency.

I don't know why you used "Therefore" to start the next sentence.

I’m worried readers might think that I showed her the video a few days ago, but I showed her yesterday after I thought of the video.

 

[Maybo]

You’re not confusing the toilet with the bidet, are you?

Toilet is this:

 

[Maybo]

Why do you use “the toilet” and not “a toilet”?

 

[5jj]

Toilet is this:
View attachment 6149

I have never seen a toilet that flushes above the rim.

 

[Matthew Wai]

Why do you use “the toilet” and not “a toilet”?

I think "the toilet" refers to the toilet in the clip you watched.

 

[Maybo]

I have never seen a toilet that flushes above the rim.

This is the video. They used green laser to show the spray.

 

[emsr2d2]

It would be very unusual for toilet water to actually "spray" three feet into the air when flushed. However, droplets of water certainly escape the confines of the toilet and go into the rest of the room. Some tests have shown that if you don't close the toilet lid before flushing, you end up with droplets of both clean and unhygienic water on nearby surfaces. That's an especially unpleasant thought if your toilet is very close to your sink and you keep your toothbrush uncovered on the side of the sink!

Edit: When I wrote this, for some reason post #9 wasn't visible to me!

 

[Tarheel]

I’m worried readers might think that I showed her the video a few days ago, but I showed her yesterday after I thought of the video.

OK. Try: "Right afterwards" or "Soon afterwards" or something like that.

If I say, "Bob said something; therefore I said something" I am indicating it was because Bob said something that I said something. If I use "Therefore" after a sentence I am saying that what I am about to say is a response to the previous sentence.

 

[Matthew Wai]

I’m worried readers might think that I showed her the video a few days ago, but I showed her yesterday after I thought of the video.

If you did something yesterday, simply use "yesterday" instead of "therefore", which is not a time marker.

 

[Tarheel]

@Maybo Say:

I showed it to her ....

You might tell her that after all this time it's a little late to be worried.

 

[Matthew Wai]

she flushes the toilet while she's sitting on it.

The part "she's" can be omitted.
The conjunction "while" can be followed by an -ing form.