My grammar exercises 9

[Bassim]

Would you please correct my grammar and punctuation in the following sentences?

1. As the child neared the cage, the bear grunted and stood upright. Frightened, the child ran back to her mother.
2. The old woman stood in the park throwing pieces of food to a flock of ducks, which quacked excitedly.
3. As I read a book in my bed, I caught the click of the lock of my entrance door, and I froze with fear.
4. Peter had a predilection for blondes since he was a teenager, but ended up marrying a woman with dark hair.
5. It was a sunny Sunday, and I walked down the street lined with beautiful gardens emanating the scents of flowers and blossoms.
6. The woman had long-fingered hands, like a pianist, covered in thin bluish veins.
7. The rain was slicing down and made the old drainpipes rattle.
8. After losing his case, John was so upset when he left the court that he collided with a few passers-by without bothering to say sorry.
9. The paramedics arrived at the scene of the accident within minutes and immediately started to give first aid. It was almost impossible to concentrate on their task amidst all the cries and howls of the dozens of injured passengers.
10. The candle on the table sputtered and went out, leaving the room in semi-darkness. The moonlight fell through the window spilling its light over the floor.

 

[tedmc]

I have some comments:

4. A woman with dark hair is called a brunette.

5. ...walk down a street which runs pass beautiful gardens.. (A street can be lined with trees and flowers but not gardens)

6. The woman had long fingers like pianist,...

7. The rainwater was gushing down the old drainpipes making them rattle.

8. I would use "flickered" instead of "sputtered" which is associated with noise.

 

[Bassim]

tednc

Regarding 4. I can say that a brunette is a woman with dark brown hair. And I have written " a woman with dark hair.
5. I think that a street can also be lined with gardens.
6. My sentence describes not only the woman's fingers but also her hands covered in the thin bluish veins.
7. "The rain was slicing down" describes the rain.

 

[emsr2d2]

7. We don't use "slicing down" to describe falling rain.

 

[Bassim]

Elizabet Adler writes: "The rain was slicing down and I was soaked through the skin..."
Robin Stevens: "But the rain was slicing down outside the window, harder and harder."
Cortazar: The rain was slicing down on the window."

 

[emsr2d2]

I've never heard it used in BrE.

 

[tedmc]

Bassim

I am curious to know the source of your quotes.
The meaning of "slice" or "slice down" has to do with cutting. I can't find the meaning of "slice down" from the dictionaries but there some examples here:
http://fraze.it/n_search.jsp?q=slice+down&l=0

I do not see how it can be used with water, even metaphorically.

Could a native speaker confirm this?

I think that a street can also be lined with gardens.

 

[Bassim]

tedmc,
I know that "slice down" has to do with cutting. But there are some writers which has used it metaphorically. There are many examples in different novels. I know that it sounds strange, but they are in print.

 

[Tarheel]

Sentence ten. Say:

The candle on the table flickered and went out....

 

[tedmc]

tedmc,
I know that "slice down" has to do with cutting. But there are some writers which has used it metaphorically. There are many examples in different novels. I know that it sounds strange, but they are in print.

Bassim
I think "slicing" in your examples is used with drops of rain. Individual drops of water don't make drainpipes rattle. It is the deluge of rainwater gushing through the drainpipes that make them rattle.