Some people believe that economic progress is the only factor ...

Status
Not open for further replies.

Ikigai

Member
Joined
Aug 30, 2024
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Vietnamese
Home Country
Vietnam
Current Location
Vietnam
Please give me some feedbacks about my writing task 2 for task achievement, Lexical resource, cohesion and coherence,.... Thanks you guys so much !

The question:

Some people believe that economic progress is the only factor that can be used to measure a country’s success. Some others argue that there are some other factors. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

My response:

The Economic progress has been used as method to measure that country is whether success or not and yet it is believed that there are more crucial factor than just one. In reality, I partly don’t believe that one aspect is enough to be more important than the others so there is still a number of factors which might be encountered while considering the success of a country.

One the one hand, i think that one major aspect just like economic progress seems to be not sufficient to indicate whether that country is successful or not. However, being managed to earn the economic growth significantly might be actually the key to solve many problems at a few of circumstances. Others sector might sometimes not be in that country’s strengths. Many countries especially in America, the economic progress is mostly tended to improve so that the government might help the other field to rise more moderately, for instance. Hence, one major are mostly not enough to judge a country’s success.

On the other hand, it sometimes right to evaluate in a number of aspects whenever we judge that one successful country. In addition, the living basis needs and quantity of available jobs in could be taken into consideration. Social welfare is usually the most thing that many governments might ever think about because of its necessary in order to assist people in the country. Dubai is a city in the UAE despites the fact that this city’s strength is economic, the city still have to face with many social problems such as the rights to people, polluted environment and the other problem, for example. As a result, there is an amount things that should be considered.

In conclusion, only economic progress is made to seek a country’s success that is just true to some countries and yet people should have a right point of view about this argument in order to consider the other factor as well .
 
Try:

Economic progress is used as an indicator of a country's success.

It's too soon to thank me.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Please give me some feedbacks feedback on about my writing task 2, for regarding task achievement, lexical resource, cohesion and coherence.
Note my changes above. "Feedback" is an uncountable noun. We end a sentence with just one full stop.
Thanks Thank you guys so much!
We don't say "Thanks you". Don't call us "guys". Don't leave a space before an exclamation mark.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Posting something that's so long and asking strangers to evaluate it is asking a lot of people. (Some are, in fact, willing to devote their time to such things.)

I would be more willing to make comments on the text if you posted only a few sentences at a time.

Have you looked at some of the other things that have been posted in this section?
 
Thanks dude!
1. There is no need to write a post to thank anyone. Add the "Thanks" icon to any response you find useful.
2. Don't address us as "dude". This isn't a chatroom and you're not talking to your mates.
3. Using "dude" suggests you think the person you were addressing is male. Don't assume any such thing.
 
Note my changes above. "Feedback" is an uncountable noun. We end a sentence with just one full stop.

We don't say "Thanks you". Don't call us "guys". Don't leave a space before an exclamation mark.
My bad :)
Posting something that's so long and asking strangers to evaluate it is asking a lot of people. (Some are, in fact, willing to devote their time to such things.)

I would be more willing to make comments on the text if you posted only a few sentences at a time.

Have you looked at some of the other things that have been posted in this section?
sorry about that (;
 
You might find it helpful to look at some of the other threads in this subforum.
 
When are you planning to do the IELTS test and what is your target score in the reading section?
 
Yet again, you failed to put a full stop at the end of a sentence. An emoji is not a replacement for closing punctuation.
Sorry about that.
You must capitalise the first word of a sentence.
You omitted the closing full stop again. I'm starting to think you're doing it on purpose.
Again, don't try to make your own emojis.

If you continue to make these basic mistakes, you'll find that people will become far less willing to help you and you might even find that your posts get deleted because it will appear you're not listening to our advice.
 
When are you planning to do the IELTS test and what is your target score in the reading section?
well, I am currently at 6.0 overall and having a tend to take a test at the end of December 2024. My aim is getting 7.5 or 8.0 overall. I also wonder if it is possible. o_O
 
Yet again, you failed to put a full stop at the end of a sentence. An emoji is not a replacement for closing punctuation.

You must capitalise the first word of a sentence.
You omitted the closing full stop again. I'm starting to think you're doing it on purpose.

Again, don't try to make your own emojis.

If you continue to make these basic mistakes, you'll find that people will become far less willing to help you and you might even find that your posts get deleted because it will appear you're not listening to our advice.
😭 I am sorry... .
 
well, I am currently at 6.0 overall and having a tend to take a test at the end of December 2024. My aim is getting 7.5 or 8.0 overall. I also wonder if it is possible. o_O
Two things. One, does that mean you intend to take a test? Two, you probably can if you study hard enough.
 
Two things. One, does that mean you intend to take a test? Two, you probably can if you study hard enough.
Yep, got it.
 
The full stop goes at the end of the sentence. In this case, the complete sentence is "Sure". Any emoji you feel the need to use should go after the closing punctuation. The emoji is not part of the sentence.
 
and having a tend to
What does that mean?
My aim is getting 7.5 or 8.0 overall.
7.0 would not be all that difficult, but to get anything higher than that, you would need to work quite hard over the next few months.
I also wonder if it is possible. o_O
It's not impossible, but as I said, it requires a lot of practice.
I'll take a look at your essay above later, but you still haven't tried to finish your task 1 exercise.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Ask a Teacher

If you have a question about the English language and would like to ask one of our many English teachers and language experts, please click the button below to let us know:

(Requires Registration)
Back
Top