[Essay] My hometown - Beijing

GillGong

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Oct 16, 2017
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China
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Hi, I am a new English learner. Below is a short article to introduce my hometown. It would be appreciated if teacher can correct me.

I was born in Beijing. I have been living here for more than 20 years which I have many precious and memorable moments about it. It is an ancient city with a long history. I used to live in Hutong with my parents. Our house was near Lama temple which was not very big but it was the most traditional life of Beijing local people. Every day I went to school in the morning which was just two blocks from my home. After school I used to stay with my classmates. We like comic and buy beautiful pens.

Time flies and Beijing develops very rapidly. Everything changes a lot. Also I have grew up as well. Beijing is an international huge city which attracts many foreign company to invest. Like my company I have worked for an airline company for nearly five years. Head office is based in Hong Kong. Fifteen years ago, there were only 2 flights every day. Now we have ten daily fights which means more and more people would like to come to Beijing. As the capital of China, it offers us more work opportunities than other cities.

There are many miracle spots in Beijing such as The great wall, The summer palace. Everyone is fascinated to see all of these architectures. The good news is that you don’t need to rent a car to get around Beijing. Our public transportation is pretty convenient and cheap. In additional, it is the best way to know local culture and approach local life. I promise you will have a lots of fun by traveling with bus and subway.
It is really a good reason to come to Beijing for delicious food. We have all kinds of traditional food such as dumpling, duck, noodle, hotpot. Every time I go abroad, I miss Chinese food a lot.

This is my hometown which compatibles with traditional life and modern life.
 

emsr2d2

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Welcome to the forum. :hi:

Are you taking formal English classes? Are you going to submit this short essay to your English tutor?
 

GillGong

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Welcome to the forum. :hi:

Are you taking formal English classes? Are you going to submit this short essay to your English tutor?


Hi,

I didn't take any formal English classes. I am new for this website. I am hoping to improve my English here and someone could help me revise my article if possible.

Gill
 

GillGong

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Welcome to the forum. :hi:

Are you taking formal English classes? Are you going to submit this short essay to your English tutor?

Hi,

Sorry that I am just a little bit confused. Do I need to take any classes if I'd like to get comments from teacher?

What should I do?

Best regards,
Gill
 

emsr2d2

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No, you don't have to have classes. We are happy to welcome independent learners. I wanted to check that your essay was not homework.
 

Tarheel

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I will offer some suggestions. For your introductory paragraph, try:

I am learning English. Below is a short article about my hometown. I would appreciate it if somebody would offer corrections/suggestions.
 

Tarheel

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Now we will look at your essay. First paragraph. Perhaps:

I was born in Beijing. I have lived here for 20 years, and I have many good memories about it. It is an ancient city with a long history. I used to live in Hutong with my parents. Our house was near Lama temple, which is not very big but is a big part of the lives of the local people. Every morning I went to a school which was just two blocks from home. After school I used to play with my classmates. We liked comics and bought beautiful pens.
 

Tarheel

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Second essay paragraph. Perhaps:

Beijing has developed very rapidly in recent years. There have been a lot of changes. Beijing is an international city which attracts many foreign companies. For example, there is my company -- an airline company where I have worked for nearly five years. The head office is in Hong Kong. Fifteen years ago, there were only two flights a day between Hong Kong and Beijing. Now we have ten flights a day between Hong Kong and Beijing. As the capital of China, Beijing offers more work opportunities than other cities.

Are my interpretations correct?
 

Tarheel

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Last paragraph. Perhaps:

There are many places of interest in Beijing such as The Great Wall and The Summer Palace. You don't need a car to get around Beijing as the public transportation is easy to use and inexpensive. In addition, it is a good way to get acquainted with local culture. I promise that you will have lots of fun traveling by bus or subway.

The food is a good reason to come to Beijing. We have all kinds of traditional foods such as dumplings, duck, noodles, and hotpots. Every time I go abroad I miss Chinese food.
 
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