When to use who and whom?

[lo2]

Hi there

I have been thinking about how exactly you know when to use who and when to use whom. So here is what I know, one uses whom when referring to the object of the sentence (given that it is a person or something, where one would use who). So for instance:

I have talked to Peter, whom I do not really like. (So is that correct?)

And also I have these other examples, where I think whom should be used, but I cannot really give any other reason than it is just "sounds" better.

He dug up his dear father, whom was recently deceased. (Is that correct, or should it be who?)

 

[lo2]

Also:

An opponent, with whom you have an adjourned game has just arrived. (Again should it instead be who?)

 

[SoothingDave]

"...who was recently deceased." "Who" is the subject of the phrase, not an object.

"With whom" is a dead giveaway. With any preposition, you have the object of the preposition, which requires "whom."

In real life, "whom" is rarely, if ever, used by a majority of native speakers.

 

[lo2]

"...who was recently deceased." "Who" is the subject of the phrase, not an object.

"With whom" is a dead giveaway. With any preposition, you have the object of the preposition, which requires "whom."

In real life, "whom" is rarely, if ever, used by a majority of native speakers.

Ok what about my first example:

I have talked to Peter, whom I do not really like. (So is that correct?)
​

So you would never use whom after with, meaning with whom is a no-go?

So is it the word whom which has to be the object, or should is just refer back to the object of the sentence?

 

[SoothingDave]

I have talked to Peter, whom I do not really like. (So is that correct?)​

Yes, that is correct. "Whom" is the object of the verb "like." "I" is the subject.

So you would never use whom after with, meaning with whom is a no-go?​

No, I meant that "with whom" is an easy one to answer. When you are looking at the object of a preposition, you use "whom." With whom, by whom, near whom, of whom, etc.

Object=whom
Subject =who

 

[lo2]

Yes, that is correct. "Whom" is the object of the verb "like." "I" is the subject.



No, I meant that "with whom" is an easy one to answer. When you are looking at the object of a preposition, you use "whom." With whom, by whom, near whom, of whom, etc.

Object=whom
Subject =who

Ok so to sum it up sentence

nr. 1:

I have talked to Peter, whom I do not really like.​

and

nr. 3

An opponent, with whom you have an adjourned game has just arrived.
​

were correct?

And thanks a lot for the help, really appreciate it!

 

[SoothingDave]

Yes, those two are correct.

 

[TheParser]

Also:

An opponent, with whom you have an adjourned game, has just arrived.

***** NOT A TEACHER *****


Hello, LO2:

Congratulations on wanting to become a member of the "whom" club. Most native speakers, as SoothingDave told you,

have dropped their memberships. I am one of the few people who try to use it correctly, so I welcome you to the club.

May I just add two points:

(1) You really do need a comma after the word "game" in your sentence. I took the liberty of adding it in boldface.

(2) Careful! Occasionally we do use "who" after a preposition.

(a) I was angry with whoever did it.

(i) Some native speakers mistakenly use "whomever" there. If you look carefully, you will notice that "whoever" is

correct because it is the subject of "did it."

Whenever you have a question about who/whom, just post it here. Little by little, you will understand it and will NOT

have to depend on the sound.

Welcome again to the club. It's very lonely here.

 

[lo2]

***** NOT A TEACHER *****


Hello, LO2:

Congratulations on wanting to become a member of the "whom" club. Most native speakers, as SoothingDave told you,

have dropped their memberships. I am one of the few people who try to use it correctly, so I welcome you to the club.

May I just add two points:

(1) You really do need a comma after the word "game" in your sentence. I took the liberty of adding it in boldface.

(2) Careful! Occasionally we do use "who" after a preposition.

(a) I was angry with whoever did it.

(i) Some native speakers mistakenly use "whomever" there. If you look carefully, you will notice that "whoever" is

correct because it is the subject of "did it."

Whenever you have a question about who/whom, just post it here. Little by little, you will understand it and will NOT

have to depend on the sound.

Welcome again to the club. It's very lonely here.

Ok I did not know that it was such an exclusive club... :/

Does that apply to both American and British, or is this practice confined to one of them?

 

[birdeen's call]

Most native speakers of English don't use "whom" in everyday speech. You will hear the word more often in America than in Great Britain, but it's not a very common word anywhere.

 

[Barb_D]

It's common enough when it comes IMMEDIATELY after the preposition, as in "to whom" or "with whom."

It's pretty uncommon otherwise. Who are you going with? -- Not Whom are you going with? Yes, "whom" is correct, but almost never used there.

 

[bhaisahab]

It's common enough when it comes IMMEDIATELY after the preposition, as in "to whom" or "with whom."

It's pretty uncommon otherwise. Who are you going with? -- Not Whom are you going with? Yes, "whom" is correct, but almost never used there.

If I wanted to use "whom" in that context, I would say "With whom are you going?" Mostly I would say "Who are you going with?"

 

[Mohammadhelmi]

Look at the following examples:

1. Mike broke the vase.
Who broke the vase?
When want to ask about the subject, we use only Who. And also we don't need a helping verb.

2. I met my teacher last week.
whom did you meet last week?
who did you meet last week?
When want to ask about the object, we use either Whom or Who. And also we need a helping verb.

Compare the following questions:
1. By whom was the door painted?
2. Who was the door painted by?
Whom is preceded by a preposition, whereas who isn't.